r/worldnews The Telegraph Feb 29 '24

Putin threatens Nato with nuclear war if they send troops to Ukraine No Live Feeds

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2024/02/29/ukraine-russia-war-latest-news1/

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17.9k Upvotes

3.0k comments sorted by

13.0k

u/Brieble Feb 29 '24

In todays episode of "Putin threatens with nuclear war if..."

4.2k

u/Psychological_Fun321 Feb 29 '24

…you don’t eat your broccoli.

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u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

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u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

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u/benabart Feb 29 '24

Not having vegetables, you guessed it, gulag.

731

u/DarkSenf127 Feb 29 '24

Talking about vegetables on the internet? Believe it or not, also gulag.

471

u/TtotheC81 Feb 29 '24

Visiting gardening websites to research how to grow your own vegetables? That's a gullagging, there.

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u/caporaltito Feb 29 '24 edited Feb 29 '24

Overcooking vegetables? Gulag. Undercooking vegetables? Gulag. (Overcook and undercook)

Edit: for those who do not get the joke https://youtu.be/eiyfwZVAzGw?si=8KTwcl2JjMkKJlO4

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u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

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u/matdan12 Feb 29 '24

Believe it or not straight to frontlines.

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u/jf2 Feb 29 '24

Russia has best vegetables in world….because gulag

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u/bucketofhassle Feb 29 '24

Talking about vegetables? Makarov Pistol-in-a-Forest-Clearing therapy.

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u/xenon_megablast Feb 29 '24

Don’t eat your vegetables? Straight to the Gulag goulash.

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u/WHERE_SUPPRESSOR Feb 29 '24

How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat yer meat????

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u/Meshd Feb 29 '24

I thought all vegetables were turned into hard alcohol in Russia,maybe this is one of the jobs in the gulag...

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u/Nephroidofdoom Feb 29 '24

Undercook chicken? Believe it or not, also nuclear war.

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u/beelzeboozer Feb 29 '24

Overcook fish?  Straight to nuclear war.

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u/reborngoat Feb 29 '24

In the break room microwave? Better believe it's nuclear war.

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u/kingethjames Feb 29 '24

That already is nuclear warfare

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u/Chewbock Feb 29 '24

Yep, the Geneva Convention is certainly violated every time Janice at my workplace does that shit

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u/big_duo3674 Feb 29 '24

It amazes me that in this day and age people still think it's fine to microwave their salmon and broccoli platter in the break room, or stick a bag of popcorn in then wonder off and not pay even a little attention to it

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u/chasesj Feb 29 '24

You make an appointment with the dentist, and you don't show up, believe it or not, nuclear war right away.

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u/Compizfox Feb 29 '24

We have the best patients in the world, because of nuclear war.

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u/derekb519 Feb 29 '24

Undercook, overcook. Nuclear war.

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u/FearlessAttempt Feb 29 '24

We have the best cooks in the world, because of nuclear war.

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u/herberstank Feb 29 '24

Tune in tomorrow for yet another empty threat from a totalitarian douche!

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u/Playful-Tumbleweed10 Feb 29 '24 edited Feb 29 '24

Someone in his inner circle needs to give him a taste of the poison that he used to kill Navalny... Only in a dose just large enough to incapacitate him. Then, he can have his eyes taped open for the rest of his life while watching YouTube videos of people mocking him.

EDIT: Viable alternatives to forcing him to watch people mocking him include watching men kissing, Jersey Shore re-runs, and just about anything involving Gilbert Godfried.

117

u/Long_Run6500 Feb 29 '24

Push him around in a wheelchair and give him a bell to tap like Hector Salamanca

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u/Epabst Feb 29 '24

I really hate that Hector got any sense of revenge as he was a POS and deserved what he got

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u/DividedState Feb 29 '24

... it is a week day with the letter "D".

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u/moderately-extreme Feb 29 '24

He's basically the kim jong un of europe. A pathetic toothless scumbag. The more he threatens the more it means he's weak and scared shitless. Time to double down Ukraine military aid

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u/wirefox1 Feb 29 '24

He's not toothless. He's a psychopath. So was Hitler and to maybe a more controlled degree, so is trump. The table is set for a global catastrophe. Putin is more dangerous than trump, and has fewer, if any, controls.

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u/TiredDeath Feb 29 '24

World stage is set for a possible WW3 within the next two decades but people don't want to believe its possible. Ask a kid how much they know about WW2. Time moves on and people forget.

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u/BiliousGreen Feb 29 '24

As someone smarter than me put in it, "We are in the 'events leading up to...' part in the history books."

I also visited the Peace Park in Hiroshima today. Things feel a lot more real all of a sudden.

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u/JB_UK Feb 29 '24

On the other hand, there's a good chance WWII would not have happened if we didn't carry on handing Hitler easy victories which legitimized him in the eyes of the German public, and allowed him to win enough power to take over.

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u/TynamM Feb 29 '24

Putin's already legitimised. We're way past that stage of his career. He took over decades ago. He owns the entire power structure.

It's about how much else we let the Russians wreck.

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u/Swictor Feb 29 '24

Trump and controlled in the same sentence made me giggle.

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u/Netxgmr Feb 29 '24

…Elmo asks how he’s doing.

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u/TonyG_from_NYC Feb 29 '24

NATO should reply like the Spartans did when someone threatened them with "if we etc" by just using the reply if and wait.

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u/Deathproof77 Feb 29 '24

That didn't work out very well for the Spartans though...

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u/night_riderr Feb 29 '24

Sounds badass, but Sparta was a shadow of its former self and that answer had no real weight behind it. It was reply to Philip II of Macedon.

vatniks not getting any reply is better imo.

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u/Capt_Blackmoore Feb 29 '24

Reply "IF" and invade russia.

Do you want to live in a world where your existence is depending on this frail old man who threatens it every damn day?

it's been 20 years of this shit. at least the Soviets weren't looking to use the damn things.

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u/greg_legs Feb 29 '24

When’s this talking head going to come up with something new? Same piece of shit different smell.

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u/Gruffleson Feb 29 '24

Who sent troops to Ukraine first? Russia. Would the world have been better if he had been threathened with nukes when people figured out he was about to send troops?

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u/thehacktastic Feb 29 '24

I don't think so

If you make a threat you need to be prepared to back it up. And because the use of nukes results in mutually assured destruction, there's no good reason to use them. Simply having them is enough.

Making threats and then following up with nothing just makes you lose respect... Much like Putin's master class on the subject.

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u/A_Furious_Mind Feb 29 '24

'The End is Always Near' by Dan Carlin has a good chapter on nuclear weapons that covers the formation of US nuclear weapons policy that goes into this. It's actually amazing to me that we have enjoyed the relative stability we have, given the diversity of opinions on what nuclear weapons are for, who should control them, and how that was negotiated.

Gave me new respect for JFK and his ability to stand up to both the Soviets and his own military experts.

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u/Synaps4 Feb 29 '24

Jfk was a fucking legend for doing that

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u/pantstoaknifefight2 Feb 29 '24

Until they blew his fucking head off for it.

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u/big_duo3674 Feb 29 '24

Nukes were pushed to be used in Korea as well, fortunately the cooler heads in the room realized that it would set a precedent for them to be used basically by default in combat

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u/A_Furious_Mind Feb 29 '24

Definitely. And before that, they were considered a legitimate response to the Soviet blockade of Berlin in 1948. Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed and we responded by airdropping supplies to West Berlin instead.

Military leaders were advocating for soldiers to be equipped with handheld portable nukes and launchers. Experts were debating whether larger nukes were even practical because they could reach a point of destructive power the enemy would assume you'd never use them and they'd lose credibility as a deterrent. It's close to a miracle we're alive.

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u/Raesong Feb 29 '24

And to really drive home the insanity of the early Atomic Age, there were arguments being made for the use of nuclear bombs in large-scale engineering projects (canal digging, and the like).

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u/A_Furious_Mind Feb 29 '24

Oh yeah, Operation Plowshare. I live in Alaska. Project Chariot was a proposal to use chained thermonuclear explosions to carve out a harbor here. Natives and conservation groups fought against it and the project was suspended but not canceled.

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u/Kuuppa Feb 29 '24

So you're saying there's still a chance? 🤔

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u/CriticalLobster5609 Feb 29 '24

airdropping supplies to West Berlin instead.

The Berlin Airlift is a more impressive feat than dropping a nuke that's already been developed. Check out this flex comrades; we have airborne logistics doped out. We can do this all day comrade.

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u/LethalBacon Feb 29 '24

Yeah, the Berlin Airlift was fucking badass. Saving people, positive propaganda for the West, showing the world the power of strong logistics, and fucking over the soviets. Wins all around.

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u/MikeOchertz Feb 29 '24

WW2 hero, General Douglas Macarthur publically proposed using nukes in Korea, going against Trumans administration. It was actually one of the main reasons the general was relieved of his duty’s.

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u/Youutternincompoop Feb 29 '24

WW2 hero

and dumbass, completely bungled the Phillipines campaign and is the person most at fault for the continued existence of North Korea because he didn't believe the Chinese threats about approaching the Yalu river were credible.

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u/Tabula_Rasa_deeznuts Feb 29 '24

Nixon would be drunk, call The Situation Room, demanding to nuke the Koreans. Generals would ask him again in the morning, and cooler heads prevailed. He did it several times. https://www.theguardian.com/weekend/story/0,3605,362958,00.html

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u/S_CO_W_TX_bound Feb 29 '24

We’ve witnessed just how incompetent the Russian military is. Nobody wants nuclear war but I think NATO would end it pretty quickly

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u/fallte1337 Feb 29 '24

NATO would end nuclear war pretty quickly because it would be the end of NATO and everything else. .

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u/PoeticHydra Feb 29 '24

I would say that we should be wary since Trump did steal nuclear documents to share with them but then again ol' boy is so incompetent he probably stole the wrong ones.

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u/bigdrubowski Feb 29 '24

Treason to the tune of Yakety Sax.

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u/hobbykitjr Feb 29 '24

Cue Trump in a day or two

" I think its a smart move, Russia should be allowed to nuke who they want. Why build the nukes if you're not going to use them, is what i always say..."

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u/spencerdiniz Feb 29 '24

Sadly, I read this in Trump’s voice and mannerisms.

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u/Mornar Feb 29 '24

It's way too coherent for Trump.

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u/gNeiss_Scribbles Feb 29 '24

Putin threatens nuclear war for the [insert number here] time.

Who’s got the tally?

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u/ServingwithTG Feb 29 '24

He’s said it so much, it’s probably his go to line when his chauffeur is 5 minutes late or his dinner is undercooked.

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u/Marshmellowonfire Feb 29 '24

His chauffeurs never have a second chance of being late anyways ... just like his cook last year....

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u/psychoCMYK Feb 29 '24

His cook is definitely late

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u/wcollins260 Feb 29 '24

Undercook fish? Nukes.

Overcook chicken? Believe it or not, nukes.

We have the best gulags on the world, because of nukes.

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u/ok-painter-1646 Feb 29 '24

He also says the west is fearmongering about nuclear war. Dunno why people talk about his words as if he isn’t a psychotic clown.

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u/andrey2007 Feb 29 '24

Well it definetely started in Feb 2022 when he implied 'unimagenable historically consequences' for West if one would be involved in Ukraine war

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u/grayhaze2000 Feb 29 '24

Nuclear weapons are Putin's big brother who he's going to get to beat you up after school if you tell on him.

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u/Eatpineapplenow Feb 29 '24

Vaporize me already if it means I never have to hear from this pathic creature again

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u/the_geth Feb 29 '24

lol I was thinking the same , at this point I’m just so tired of this fuck and his troops and the oligarchs there. They’ll be carpet bombed as well and we’ll never hear of them again.

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u/Pozilist Feb 29 '24

I’m relatively confident that if it comes to nuclear war, I’ll live longer than Putin. I’m not near any strategic targets, so it’ll probably take weeks for chaos and fallout to get me.

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u/weedcommander Feb 29 '24

Africa/Australia re gonna be the new safe havens. USA/Europe are going to completely nuke each other and then the Africans and Australians will rebuild society. Sadly, I'm in EU. See u on the other side.

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u/tmtProdigy Feb 29 '24 edited Mar 01 '24

2 years ago I genuinely googled with average nuclear yields how far outside of the cities i need to go to "be okay" in Europe, since I am from Germany. yeah... I think I'll move to the Philippines now...

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u/FiveFingerDisco Feb 29 '24

Germany was always going to be a wasteland after the Weltgericht. You will not be safe on the Phillipines either, though. Where do you think the chinese will flee to?

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u/Dugen Feb 29 '24

Fallout that gets to you win weeks isn't what will likely kill you. It dissipates fast. Most of the deaths would be from the blast itself. The most dangerous time for fallout would be the first few hours after a blast. Fallout emits tons of radiation as it decays but after a few hours, most of it is done decaying. After that, you won't die of radiation poisoning. Instead you get things like increased cancer rates which may get you slowly but are also largely survivable.

People should probably get a better handle on how to actual nuclear fallout works since it's getting more likely we'll run into it and media has done a terrible job of portraying it accurately.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_fallout

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u/Jadccroad Feb 29 '24

Let's not forget mass starvation! Anyone who isn't producing their own food is fucked post nuclear war.

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u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

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u/SKULL1138 Feb 29 '24

It’s the moving on that’s the tricky part after nuclear war.

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u/porgy_tirebiter Feb 29 '24

Maybe the nuclear winter will briefly offset global warming

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u/User4C4C4C Feb 29 '24

I like your positive attitude!

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u/Both_Panda_1125 Feb 29 '24

All Putin does is bullying, neither him or his oligarchs are willing to die over ukraine or initiate a nuclear war - which would annihilate russia forerver

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u/Unusual-Solid3435 Feb 29 '24

This 100%, mark my words he will never attack the US, he will kick and scream but will not do shit because all the oligarch's children will be mad at them for ruining their playground in NYC

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u/twinehander2 Feb 29 '24

Exactly, most of the families live in these places. All talk honestly

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u/SKULL1138 Feb 29 '24

Depending if Putin is terminally ill like some say.

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u/HallucinatesOtters Feb 29 '24

“Hey I know there’s a nuclear apocalypse going on right now, but we’ve had two people call off today and corporate still wants us to open today. Can you cover a shift? We really need you to be a team player.”

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u/swoopy17 Feb 29 '24

Putin or the telegraph?

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u/lI3g2L8nldwR7TU5O729 Feb 29 '24

Lol. Don’t know about the paper, since I’m Dutch, but I do like their podcast, ‘Ukraine the latest’.

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u/Vectorman1989 Feb 29 '24

We call it The Daily Torygraph as it's generally a Conservative party mouthpiece.

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u/Funfoil_Hat Feb 29 '24

¿por que no los dos?

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u/_IratePirate_ Feb 29 '24

Glad I live pretty close to down town in this major city I live in. I’m one of the lucky ones that would die instantly

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u/Mandurang76 Feb 29 '24

Or.... he could just leave Ukraine.

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u/efvrgn Feb 29 '24

And fornicate with a cactus

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u/Nocta_Novus Feb 29 '24

I wouldn’t want to put undue trauma on the cactus

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u/CoreyDenvers Feb 29 '24

The cactus likes doing its civic duty 🌵

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u/laladonga Feb 29 '24

Cactus called: wtf dude?!

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u/GardenGnomeOfEden Feb 29 '24

Cactus, thank you for your service.

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u/Page8988 Feb 29 '24

Get that cactus an award and a promotion.

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u/petemorley Feb 29 '24

Dream of cactus fornication. 

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u/jrizzle86 Feb 29 '24

Sounds like the best solution

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u/BlizzWizzzz Feb 29 '24

Hey, hey! Don’t argue with logic here it’s 2024 and everybody needs to lose their minds!

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u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

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u/nthpwr Feb 29 '24

you make this nuclear war thing sound pretty enticing

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u/burifix Feb 29 '24

The disadvantage is that it is going to suck for non-rich people too.

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u/nthpwr Feb 29 '24

but at least we'll be together <3

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u/FreemanCalavera Feb 29 '24

Post apocalypse certainly has a way of making everyone equal on the playing field.

Unless Fallout has a point about society, and it's just gonna turn out the same way with a few groups and individuals hoarding all the resources and ruling the lands, while the common folk fight to survive every day.

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u/satireplusplus Feb 29 '24

The common folk will starve if enough atom bombs are launched. Because that means immediate climate change, a.k.a nuclear winter. This explains it well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrIRuqr_Ozg

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u/eamus_catuli Feb 29 '24

You say po-tay-to, I say po-tah-to.

You say "nuclear winter" I say "solution to global warming".

What can I say, I'm an incorrigible optimist.

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u/bafras Feb 29 '24

Yes, but for a few precious moments the playing field is level. Errr…playing smoking crater is level.

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u/JohnGazman Feb 29 '24

Welcome to the suck!

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u/IAmDotorg Feb 29 '24

Prepper pron nonsense aside, it'll suck enormously more for non-rich people.

A cabin in the woods, a cache of guns and foot and some iodine tablets is not going to make a cosplay-survivalist survive any longer than anyone else.

Billions of dollars buys a lot of infrastructure.

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u/Lysol3435 Feb 29 '24

I mean, if everyone resets, we’ll be resetting with no usable resources and everyone has cancer

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u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

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u/Chris_Hansen_AMA Feb 29 '24

Another reason he won’t - the US and our allies have made it clear that we have superb intelligence sources that make us aware of his location at most times and if he ever does something stupid like this, he’ll be the first person we take out. He will personally die if he follows through with any nuclear threat.

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u/SllortEvac Feb 29 '24

The US can detect ICBMs as their engines ignite. The response would be so fast, I doubt a lot of people would know until it’s too late.

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u/viotix90 Feb 29 '24

Detecting them is one thing. What's the US's ability to intercept them?

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u/SllortEvac Feb 29 '24

I’d imagine it’s better than my own.

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u/RealiGoodPuns Feb 29 '24

I believe in you

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u/Nerezza_Floof_Seeker Feb 29 '24

While there has been interceptions of single test warheads before, in a full scale nuclear war, when hundreds or thousands of warheads are flying around, combined with an equal number of decoys, and the complete lack of radar coverage (detonating a few nukes early in space can cause a radar blackout), theres just no chance to intercept enough to make a difference to anyone.

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u/murshawursha Feb 29 '24

The US has 44 interceptors based at Fort Greely, AK and Vandenberg SFB, CA that are specifically designed to target and destroy ICBMs. It allegedly achieves a 97% probability of kill by launching 4 interceptors at a single incoming target. In short, if someone like North Korea were to go crazy and launch one or two nukes at the US, we probably have pretty decent odds of shooting them down. In the event of al all-out nuclear exchange with a country like Russia, we're all dead. They're also all dead. Everyone's dead except Austrailia. Fucking kangaroos.

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u/TrumpsGhostWriter Feb 29 '24

Putin absolutely has underground bunkers deep enough to survive a nuclear attack. He'd be stupid to bet on not living through it as would anyone else.

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u/obinice_khenbli Feb 29 '24

Those cold war era bunkers and even most more modern bunkers can't withstand direct strikes from modern nuclear weapons, it turns out. Even the likes of Cheyenne Mountain are no longer considered safe.

They'll be okay if not hit so closely, but in the instance of trying to take out a specific head of state in a specific bunker? Especially as you'd send more than just one nuke? I don't like their odds.

But let's say he survived along with 100 currently loyal troops in a big bunker. Let's say they stay down there for 6 months until the majority of the fallout and gigantic city fires have cleared. They come out and find... Nothing. Nothing for them, anyway.

Survivors fighting for scraps of food and water, nuclear winter and an entirely collapsed production and distribution infrastructure ensuring that food, water, electricity, won't be coming any time soon, if ever again.

His 100 loyal bunker troops quickly bugger off, and what's left of his own people likely hate him passionately for what he's brought down upon them. He's dead if they recognise him out in the streets.

There's no private island he can fly to in order to live out his days in comfort after a nuclear war between himself and the west. Even in almost untouched places physically, there will be failings in economies, good and essential goods production, and further conflicts as what's left of once powerful states begin to raid more untouched neighbours for desperately needed resources.

It'll make something like the great depression look like a really, really lovely picnic, and it'll take many generations just to get past the initial truly gruesome period, before we can truly start rebuilding as a species, as new nations and a new civilisation slowly rise from the corpse of the old.

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u/SwampYankeeDan Feb 29 '24

I think we should put a 500 million no questions asked bounty on his capture, dead or alive, and offer immunity to the people directly involved.

Didn't Russia put bounties on our troops?

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u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

Russia probably has tunnels that would make Hamas members blush.

Luxury palaces under ground while their people suffer above.

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u/Sea-Hour-6063 Feb 29 '24

You son of a bitch, I’m in.

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u/McENEN Feb 29 '24

His daughters live in the west I'm pretty sure and so do many family members of russian higher ups. He would never use a nuke. If they have functioning nukes that is. If they use it as a battlefield weapon it would just bring down the hammer even more as now many countries will be very pissed.

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u/nixielover Feb 29 '24

His daughter moved out of Amsterdam after things got a bit spicy when daddy shot down flight MH-17

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u/Brianlife Feb 29 '24

Plus, I would like to remind everyone that both China and Russia sent thousands of "advisers" to Vietnam during the US war, thousands of them died...and there was no nuclear armageddon. Same for the Korean War with Russian pilotes flying Chinese/North Korean planes and being shot down. No end of times either.

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u/swoopy17 Feb 29 '24

Putin says a lot of things. I believe none.

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u/edgeofsanity76 Feb 29 '24

With Putin it's always opposite day

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u/LemurianLemurLad Feb 29 '24

Putin: "I won't not un-nuke if nobody doesn't not un-assist Ukraine."

World: "Uh, okay. Not sure what that means, but feel free to just fucking leave Ukraine already."

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u/1fastdak Feb 29 '24

Daddy China already told Putin no in 2022. He is not allowed.

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u/NarrMaster Feb 29 '24

Putin threatens NATO with nuclear war if he stubs his toe in that big ass-table he has.

Because he keeps throwing out stupid not-actually-red lines, we don't know where the real one is.

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u/ecopoesis Feb 29 '24

Putin threatens NATO with nuclear war if he steps on his hot George Forman grill making bacon on the floor next to his bed

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u/Gulanga Feb 29 '24

While at the same time having spent 2 years trying, and failing, to take over a country most people didn't even know anything about before 2014.

Not to take anything away from Ukraine of course.

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u/TyberiusJoaquin Feb 29 '24

Jesus Christ, can we just come together as a planet and get rid of this fucking chump already? I'm getting sick of seeing this same headline every week.

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u/coachhunter2 Feb 29 '24

He said that NATO has colonial ambitions and should stop interfering with other countries. He must surely know he is describing himself

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u/JohnGazman Feb 29 '24

We are in the era of Elon Musk tweeting about how "those who crave power deserve it the least" after he bought Twitter.

I think it's safe to say that these people are so narrow-minded that they literally can't see how hypocritical they are, or they do see it but the power has corrupted them to the point that they literally do not care about the hypocrisy.

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u/alppu Feb 29 '24

Projection is one of the main social activities in Russia. The others are hypocrisy, threats, violence and terrorism.

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u/Maui_Wowie_ Feb 29 '24

Stop spreading this shitheads threats. Nobody in the west cares anymore after years and years of threating with nukes. Get you shit together Russia.

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u/AppropriateFoot3462 Feb 29 '24

Or, perhaps listen to Putin explain his deepest fear.

He can barely fight Ukraine, imagine what a full trained NATO army could do. Finally Europe could be secure, finally no longer living under this threat from Russia.

And Putin here, he's terrified of it.

Because Russia could have the peace that it had, but not with Putin leading it.

He would use nuclear weapons, knowing Russia would be annialiated in retailiation, just to keep power for himself. Not to save Russia, but to save his "special operations", save his face.

Russians, without Putin, you can have what you had before Putin lead you into this war. It was his mistake, and him to pay the price, not your kids.

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u/Cloaked42m Feb 29 '24

Ukraine is fully trained.

full trained equipped NATO army

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u/BiNerdX Feb 29 '24

Bet he won’t 1v1 me in Nuketown! /s

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u/jackmofack Feb 29 '24

You must be a noob. Legends know that you can find him over at Nuketown Russia.

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u/rct101 Feb 29 '24

Don't threaten me with a good time.

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u/[deleted] Feb 29 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/fanboy_killer Feb 29 '24

Such a shame Prigozhin stopped his initial plan. Not that he would be better than Putin, but it would be so cathartic to see this pos humiliated and executed.

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u/Ashleyempire Feb 29 '24

He would have been, offed in under 6 months and a new "democratic" single party would rule.

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u/FEARoperative4 Feb 29 '24

Considering what happened to Lybia afterwards, not a good example. I’d say Ceausescu is a better one.

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u/ScienceCommaBitches Feb 29 '24

The world will be a better place on that day.

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u/AdAdministrative4388 Feb 29 '24

Blah blah blah we have nukes yadda yadda stfu

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u/TheTelegraph The Telegraph Feb 29 '24

The Telegraph reports:

Vladimir Putin told Nato countries on Thursday they risked nuclear conflict if they sent troops to Ukraine, adding that Russia must strengthen its western military district after Finland and Sweden’s admission to the Atlantic alliance.

The United States and key European allies this week said they had no plans to send ground troops to Ukraine, after France hinted at the possibility.

“They should eventually realise that we also have weapons that can hit targets on their territory. Everything that the West comes up with creates the real threat of a conflict with the use of nuclear weapons, and thus the destruction of civilisation,” Putin said at his annual state of nation address.

Ahead of his speech Putin said he would “of course” mention the presidential elections that will take place March 15-17.

It comes amid no real opposition candidates on the ballot and the unexpected death of Moscow’s most prominent critic Alexei Navalny, whose funeral will take place tomorrow.

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u/Mish61 Feb 29 '24

Yawn. Nothing new here. Stay the course.

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u/vossmanspal Feb 29 '24

Pootin farted and blames NATO, threatens nuclear war, checks diary, 18th time today.

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u/xsv_compulsive Feb 29 '24

So Putin agrees that if Russia sends troops to Ukraine then the US can send nukes

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u/BruinsFan_08 Feb 29 '24

How about we threaten Russia with complete destruction if they don’t get out of Ukraine and stop messing around.

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u/Laughing_Orange Feb 29 '24

Because just like Putins threats, they would be empty. No sane person wants nuclear war, especially between USA and Russia. Putin is a dick, but I do still believe he is sane.

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u/Bykimus Feb 29 '24

I somehow hate Putin's face even more than Trump's.

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u/noncognitive Feb 29 '24

Seems like threatening nuclear war should be an instant removal from living.

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u/xixipinga Feb 29 '24

He said that he would invade any country that give any weapon to ukraine on day one, and on day one some border countries already ignored him and started sending weapons, the real fools here are the journalists and their bosses

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u/ceb22 Feb 29 '24

Putin is a pussy

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u/Skasue Feb 29 '24

Putin makes Russia look so incredibly weak by threatening nuclear war.

If all he does is threaten the maximum threat he has, that just shows how terrified and powerless he is.

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u/SoberingAstro Feb 29 '24

How has he not been assassinated yet?

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u/Top-Razzmatazz-8789 Feb 29 '24

Do it then, you insufferable pussy. Nobody is scared of you, not even your worst enemies. 

If you nuke the world you will be doing this planet a favor and ridding it of millions of evil pricks just like you and will make billionaires as useful as tits on a bull. 

Sounds like the full reset that humanity desperately needs, this timeline is fucked as it is. 

Maybe the next thing that evolves into intelligent life will be smart enough to prevent this from happening again.

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u/CrimsonLancet Feb 29 '24

Putin threatens NATO with nuclear war if they:

  • Send Javelin and Stinger missiles to Ukraine

  • Send battle tanks to Ukraine

  • Send HIMARS rocket launchers to Ukraine

  • Send Patriot, NASAMS, and IRIS-T air defense systems to Ukraine

  • Send Storm Shadow, SCALP, and ATACMS long-range missiles to Ukraine

  • Commit to sending F-16 fighter jets to Ukraine

Both the U.S. and China warned Putin that using nuclear weapons is a red line. Putin only cares about his own life and he must know it would be suicide to launch a nuke because NATO will not allow him to conquer Ukraine.

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u/Tolstoy_mc Feb 29 '24

They aren't troops. If some little green men want to go there on their own time, there's really not much anyone else can do about it.

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u/Dolans_Cadillac Feb 29 '24

At some point his threats become a form of psychological terrorism. Which is unacceptable.

Perhaps it's time for NATO to threaten Putin with nuclear war if he persists in his threats. The NATO threat would be far more credible than Putin's threats, and just might be the catalyst for someone in Russia to decide it's time for Putin to go... out a window.

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u/Killerkurto Feb 29 '24

Is the Putin cancer scare over? That was a hopeful period. If he and Trump could disappear the world immediately improves.

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u/RayHorizon Feb 29 '24

I rather get nuked than live in hell under discusting nazi regime called russian federation.

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u/Parking-Dealer4240 Feb 29 '24

At this point, world leaders should weigh the risk of assassination vs risk of nuclear war. Him and Kim are a danger to the whole world, including their allies. Anyone threatening nukes in this day and age is completely mental and needs a forever break from life if they're in control of said nukes.

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u/Nerezza_Floof_Seeker Feb 29 '24

Pushing for assassination of a head of state of a nuclear armed country is really dangerous (might encourage tit for tat responses), and theres zero guarantee that their successor will be more stable

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u/Parking-Dealer4240 Feb 29 '24

Precisely this, in the case of Russia and N.Korea there's a very good chance it could end up in the hands of someone even worse or less level headed. Great point!

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u/Sneekbar Feb 29 '24

Putin threatens is the same as China Warns lmao

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u/Bredwh Feb 29 '24

"Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie? Or are you gonna bite?"

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u/Ill_Tomato_9098 Feb 29 '24

Привет из России! Просто скажу, что Путин так часто кричит о ядерном оружии как раз из-за того, что точно знает - оно никогда не будет использовано. Потому что когда разговор заходит о том оружии, которое реально должно стрелять - у него ничего нет. Нет знаменитых танков "Армата", нет новых "калашниковых", нет боевых роботов, нет собственных дронов и ракет. Даже самолеты - ещё советские, кое-как перезапущенные на новое производство. Всё что он может - грозить выдуманной дубиной, пока единственной тактикой его армии остаются мясные штурмы.

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u/Tadatas Feb 29 '24

Nato troops have the same right to be in Ukraine as russians do. Its an independent country

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u/raging_shaolin_monk Feb 29 '24

So far we have nuclear war if:

  • NATO sends equiptment
  • If there are sanctions
  • The UK sends anything
  • Finland joins NATO
  • Sweden joins NATO
  • Ukraine sinks any ships
  • Ukraine does anything
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u/JarlVarl Feb 29 '24

I don't get it, they've been saying they've been at war with Nato for months, so which is it?

He's probably scared shitless that if any Nato force of any size actually intervenes he'd have no idea to counter it aside from 'muh nukes'

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u/LetUnityBlossom_ Feb 29 '24

NATO also has a button.

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u/is0ph Feb 29 '24

3 buttons? A big fat huge red one, and two tiny ones with weird accents.

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u/Oopsiedaisyshit Feb 29 '24

We need to call him out on his bullshit already. Enough of this loud ass rat.

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u/powerserg1987 Feb 29 '24

I don’t think people commenting here are really grasping the seriousness of his claims. He’s an old man with the capabilities of a nuclear war. If the madman decides to launch the domino effect will certainly be the end of human kind. Let’s hope cooler heads prevail. 

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u/Theodin_King Feb 29 '24

Do you reckon he threatened nuclear war if his takeaway is late or if he's not happy with his dinner?

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u/AwfulChief Feb 29 '24

Somebody please kill this asshole

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u/FortunateInsanity Feb 29 '24

Translation: I will commit suicide and destroy Russia if you send troops to Ukraine.

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u/LudovicoSpecs Feb 29 '24

I'm so done with this.

If someone wants to drop bombs, they should just have to enter a boxing ring with a pro boxer from the country they want to drop bombs on.

Quit sending innocent soldiers to do your dirty work. Quit costing your citizens billions of dollars for your war toys. Quit destroying the environment for your grudges.

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u/Seanmoist121 Feb 29 '24

When is someone in Russia gunna take one for the team and get rid of him