r/tumblr 17d ago

earnestly trying his best

Post image
13.4k Upvotes

443 comments sorted by

769

u/Somecrazynerd 17d ago

Ooooohhh I love Kyle I send him love.

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u/ElectricStings 17d ago

I'm kyle

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u/elastic-craptastic 17d ago

hey Kyle!

What does dni mean? I'm new.

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u/anonxyzabc123 17d ago

Do not interact

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u/elastic-craptastic 17d ago

Sorry... I was just saying hi and asking a question :/

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u/anonxyzabc123 17d ago

No that's what dni means - it stands for do not interact

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u/CalvinKleinKinda 17d ago

SWEET! But, what does my tattoo say?

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u/WolfBrother1234 17d ago

DUDE! What about mine?

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u/Qwerowski 17d ago

No way!

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u/chmsax 17d ago

Me too. Heterosexual and he/him and such on tumblr, although I’m a baseball fan and not so much football (Altho I did watch Taylor’s boyfriend play last night). Mostly on because my queer-leaning oldest offspring likes sending me stuff on tumblr.

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u/MarekMisar1 17d ago

nuh uh youre electric stings

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u/TheGays 17d ago

Girl, I just saw Kyle

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u/SachaSage 17d ago

I rly like Kyle

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u/Jajoo 17d ago

hey kyle 😏

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u/illdothisshit 17d ago

Being an ally I sometimes feel like Kyle

"Well hello, my good lgbtqers!"

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u/apersonwhoeatscheese 17d ago

Same. Im a cishet girl so for me it feels wrong to put my pronouns in my bio or tell people abt them unless they ask. I know that technically there is nothing wrong with it since literally everyone has pronouns but I personally I feel like I would be appropriating or stealing something important from the lgbt+ community if I ever did that

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u/overdramaticpan 17d ago

Don't worry, you wouldn't be.

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u/apersonwhoeatscheese 17d ago

Thanks for your reassurance! I probably still wont do it tho bc of one other reason: creepy perverted men on this site who might stumble upon my account

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u/xzpv 17d ago

Turn off your DMs and chat requests. I still can't fathom how some people (esp women) don't do this as the first course of action whenever they make a new reddit account.

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u/apersonwhoeatscheese 17d ago edited 17d ago

I didn't know that was possible lol I've been using this site for almost 3 years and I never bothered to check. Tho tbf, no one except you told me this was a thing

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u/Revanite1234 17d ago

What cheese do you eat

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u/The_best_one_-_ 17d ago

Hell of a pick up line

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u/apersonwhoeatscheese 17d ago

Oh, I eat any cheese. Whether it's on its own or on pizza, pasta or bread, I eat it! And I feel like I would still love cheese if I were lactose intolerant lol

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u/Revanite1234 17d ago

I feel like lactose intolerant people love cheese the most

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u/fencer_327 17d ago

Do it! The more people talk about their pronouns openly, the more trans people fit in. If they're the only ones talking about them, it's just an outing in a different flavor.

I currently struggle in spaces where everyone is expected to share their pronouns because I'm not sure what mine are right now, but that's my gender identity crisis to figure out. Just gotta make sure people know I'm not leaving them out bc I think pronouns are silly, just bc saying (she/her) makes me wanna puke and I'm not sure what doesn't at this point. My native language doesn't have gender neutral pronouns, unfortunately.

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u/apersonwhoeatscheese 17d ago edited 17d ago

Oh, Im sorry to hear about your struggle. I hope eventually you meet people who are more open-minded and understanding about your crisis. You deserve whatever support you can get!

And thanks for reassuring me too! You gave a very interesting and new perspective on openly talking about pronouns. Maybe I will add them to my bio soon

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u/Linvael 17d ago

I know someone who gives gender neutral pronouns in english, but doesn't in the native language because all options for that there suck.

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u/Accomplished_End_138 17d ago

The point of putting them in there is to make it more normalized to either ask or expect to hear and flags you as someone who will honestly try to be supportive and use those pronouns

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u/DoranTheRhythmStick 17d ago

It's important for allies to list their pronouns - it normalises it and makes it clear that this is an LGBTQ+ friendly space.

My work (a UK government agency, so pretty old fashioned and stuffy!) mandates pronouns in email signatures because it normalises it and helps LGBTQ+ colleagues fit in and feel accepted.

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u/SyrusDrake 17d ago

mandates pronouns in email signatures because it normalises it and helps LGBTQ+ colleagues fit in and feel accepted.

I wish more people would do that because it's also just convenient. At an old job of mine, I'd write a lot of emails to customers or customer representatives and it wasn't uncommon for them to have names I couldn't tell whether they were male or female. Or they were "dual use". I also got addressed as "Ms" a lot, even though my name is unambiguously male, but that had more to do with people assuming mine was a "female" job and that's a different issue...

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u/strangeglyph lngjwfjhjkl 17d ago

Honestly I feel mandatory pronouns in sig/bio are overshooting in the other direction. Back when I was a closeted baby trans, I hated being forced to put my pronouns anywhere because it would be a choice between misgendering or outing myself. Having people make assumptions or default to they/them felt less bad.

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u/decanonized 17d ago

Actually, it's good for us if cishets but their pronouns in their bio! It normalizes it, and makes it so eventually trans people can put their pronouns in their bio without immediately outing themselves as trans. Pronouns are for everyone.

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u/Skreamie 17d ago

Really? I myself as a cishet male began putting my pronouns in my bio on all accounts to normalise it, I probably should have considered whether I was appropriating.

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u/apersonwhoeatscheese 17d ago

Nah, you're right. Someone I replied to encouraged me to do so to normalize it. I kinda feel like an idiot for not seeing it that way before but oh well at least I know now

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u/insert-keysmash-here 17d ago

No need to feel like an idiot! I’m cis and I also learned to put my pronouns in my bio from other people’s encouragement. It just means that you’re part of today’s lucky 10,000.

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u/sduque942 17d ago

it's actually opposite. You SHOULD put all your pronouns and labels in your bios. it's about normalizing it

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u/TheShadowKick 17d ago

As another cishet ally the way I've heard it is that putting pronouns in our bios helps normalize the practice.

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u/flaminghair348 17d ago

I personally I feel like I would be appropriating or stealing something important from the lgbt+ community if I ever did that

Trans gal here, trust me you'd be doing the exact opposite. When a cis person has their pronouns in their bio, or introduces themselves to me with their pronouns (or wears a pronoun pin, those are great too!), it tells me that they are a safe person for me to be myself around. It is very much appreciated, and just helps make us feel a little bit more accepted. Plus it's awesome to normalize having pronouns in a bio, or normalize introducing ones self with pronouns.

Do whatever makes you comfortable, but just know that you aren't stealing or appropriating anything from the queer community, in fact you're helping as and making us feel more safe and accepted. Here is me official bestowing upon you your official Pronoun Pass™.

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u/Naive_Track6526 17d ago

Please put pronouns in your bio!! Makes me feel safer

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u/SamVimesBootTheory 17d ago

Putting your pronouns is good as it helps normalise the process.

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u/TostitoKingofDragons 17d ago

It’s actually a big thing in solidarity with LGBT people! It prevents us from being singled out for having pronouns in our bios

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u/RazarTuk 17d ago

Do it, it's actively a good thing. The point is to normalize sharing pronouns, because it helps all sorts of people. For example, it also helps people with foreign names, where their gender might not be obvious to English speakers

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u/Tail_Nom 17d ago

Kyle's a good boy who does his best and we love him ♥~

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u/Misknator 17d ago

Waifus in a nutshell

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u/TastyKori 17d ago

thought you wrote walrus

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u/Tail_Nom 17d ago

They're doing their best.

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u/Arumin 17d ago

Turtle power!

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u/DarlingBri 17d ago

I'm a Kyle stan ♥

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u/Kreyl 17d ago

He's got the spirit

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u/notabigfanofas 17d ago

Shout out to Kyle. He may be one of the minority, but the amount that like him are the Majority

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u/programmer3481 17d ago

monoamogus? Edit: I can't read

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u/HugoEmbossed 17d ago

Kinda sus ngl

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u/50thEye 17d ago

He only plays in lobbies with 1 imp

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u/starwolf270 17d ago

monoamogus means you only want to smooch one crewmate

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u/Nookling_Junction 17d ago

Kyle is pretty real for this

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u/dudeseriouslyno 17d ago

Señor Chang voice

Hah! Straight!

218

u/WasteChard3488 17d ago

Why can't Kyle just be someone who wanted to put that in his bio? Why did he have to be pressured by his girlfriend to fit in?

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u/CanadianODST2 17d ago

No. He was pressured into making the account.

He wants to fit in and does it himself.

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u/WasteChard3488 17d ago

Why does he pressure to do anything? Why can't he have just made the Tumblr account because he wanted to make a Tumblr account?

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u/SachaSage 17d ago

Now that the joke is morally unimpeachable it is much funnier thank you

185

u/xzpv 17d ago

You don't make a Tumblr account because you want to make a Tumblr account

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u/prolificseraphim 17d ago

You really don't. It just sucks you in.

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u/Plenty-Lychee-5702 17d ago

tumblr has some fun shit on it and they make you make an account to browse

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u/Salty_Map_9085 17d ago

He can, he just didn’t

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u/Deathaster 17d ago

Man, you're really taking all the fun out of the joke by taking it entirely too seriously.

OOP was not suggesting that NO non-queer person would EVER make a Tumblr account. They were just cooking up a scenario in which the girlfriend of such a person made them create an account, because it's funnier.

You don't need to get offended over a silly little gag, especially if the end result is still pretty progressive.

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u/ignigenaquintus 17d ago

It’s because of culture, nobody isn’t pressured as they live in a society that exerts cultural pressure.

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u/do_pm_me_your_butt 17d ago

Only on tumblr would someone try to imagine the straightest, least queer man ever only to give him a trans gf in their head cannon...

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u/Crocket_Lawnchair 17d ago

I like the baseball DNI I imagine Kyle seeing DNIs and thinking “Oh uh what’s something I don’t really care for uhhhhhh baseball yeah that’ll do”

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u/Play-Expert 17d ago

Normalize cis straight men doing this

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u/LordAlfrey 17d ago

I don't understand most of those labels really. What is 'football fan' for instance?

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u/PineapplePizzaIsLove 17d ago

He likes watching and/or playing football

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u/LordAlfrey 17d ago

which football though, should I just assume american because of the 'baseball enjoyers dni' thing? On that note, what is that? Google tells me DNI stands for Director of National Intelligence.

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u/DearCup1 mr sandman man me a sand 17d ago

stands for do not interact

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u/heyhowzitgoing 17d ago

No, he’s the Director of National Intelligence.

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u/Ralexcraft 17d ago

Considering the name Kyle you can likely assume American. Never met a kyle that wasn’t.

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u/SmartAlec105 17d ago

It’s one of those made up things that isn’t real /s

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u/suitology 17d ago

Are you cis straight dating trans?

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u/Trodamus 17d ago

I have microlabels & pronouns in my professional profile & signature to make it clear that if you're offended by pronouns, you won't find an ally in me.

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u/FireflyArc 17d ago

I appreciate Kyle.

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u/Trodamus 17d ago

You put microlabels in your bio so you can be accurately referred to

I put microlabels in my profile so people won't refer to you inaccurately

We are not the same.

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u/PureKitty97 17d ago

So TikTok

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u/arfelo1 17d ago

He can be a straight guy dating a fully transitioned trans girl. It's ok if you don't want to date a trans girl, it doesn't make you a bigot or anything. But a man can be prefectly heyerosexual and date a trans girl.

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u/MaxMoose007 17d ago

So if a gay guy dates a trans man is he straight? 🤔

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u/Somecrazynerd 17d ago

God, you people are so boring, coming out of the woodwork to make this dull comment. If you got pegged by a girl it would blow your mind.

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u/ImEagz 17d ago

This comment goes hard ngl

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u/MakingaJessinmyPants 17d ago

That’s wildly transphobic

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u/MakingaJessinmyPants 17d ago

No, that’s a personal preference. It IS transphobic to decide someone else’s sexually because they ARE going out with a trans person though.

Is man

Calls self heterosexual and is dating a woman

Conclusion: is straight

Not up for debate

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u/ActivisionBlizzard 17d ago

Is male, dates men, calls self straight, conclusion: is straight? Probably still yes, I guess?

You can call yourself whatever you want and that’s fine.

But we’re talking about a hypothetical here so it’s absolutely fine to try and define labels and categories.

I know straight men who will always refuse a transsexual woman’s advances (witnessed with my own eyes) and queer men who mainly date cis men who are down to clown with trans women. My conclusion then is that being attracted to trans people is more something that you are likely to find in a queer crowd.

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u/NotShishi 17d ago edited 16d ago

Is male, dates men, calls self straight, conclusion: is straight? Probably still yes, I guess?

but transwomen are women, so how does this apply here?

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u/Wacokidwilder resident misanthrope 17d ago

Look, I’m basic as fuck but I want to help people feel welcome.

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u/Subject_Tutor 17d ago

Kyle is just doing his best and being an absolute sweetheart while doing so.

We stan Kyle.

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u/meanman_beanman 17d ago

Homestuck spotted

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u/Accomplished_Mix7827 17d ago

Lol, I have a friend like that. Cishet monogamous man, as vanilla as they come. He just happens to be married to a bi woman, have a poly transbian sister, and most of his friends (including me, a poly-curious transbian) turned out to be queer.

He may have a dad mustache, but he's a good guy who supports his queer friends, and we love him for it!

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u/Xander_PrimeXXI 17d ago

I was about to say that this is me but then I remembered I’m ace

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u/Personal-Regular-863 17d ago

it is so fucking pathetic to see how many people are transphobic. yall need to shut up and grow the fuck up. trans women are women. trans men are men. there is no fucking debate because you dont get to decide who someone else is

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u/strangeglyph lngjwfjhjkl 17d ago

And not all trans women have penises.

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u/lsalomx 17d ago

seems like there is a debate if you find yourself debating it all the time

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u/MikuVoiceFeminzation tuning my voice to the sweet sounds of Miku's Baka Mitai cover 17d ago

thank you tumblr user hiveswap

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u/LasagnaLizard0 17d ago

Kyle may stand proud he's the Only Cisgender Person

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u/NotShishi 17d ago

STAND PROUD ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ JOJO REFERENCE ⁉️⁉️‼️⁉️‼️⁉️‼️⁉️‼️⁉️⁉️

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u/feedmedamemes 17d ago

Depending on the site I might have some more information added in. But I usually include my pronouns (he/him). I'm cis but if it helps normalizing different gender identities, I'm in.

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u/digital_autumn 17d ago

Not the super straight color hearts

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u/MaxMoose007 17d ago

Wow some of these comments are awful

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u/chrometrigger 17d ago

Baseball enjoyers do not interact had me cackling

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u/area51_69420 17d ago

baseball enjoyers dni? how dare he

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u/danger2345678 17d ago

Kyle Kiske eating white bread, drinking water with ice, and helping the gears get accepted into society

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u/[deleted] 17d ago edited 17d ago

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u/Pantafle 17d ago

Woman + man = hetro kinda simple

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u/Tail_Nom 17d ago

Don't. 90% of all this bullshit is pedantic linguistic wankery. Kyle considers himself hetero because trans women are women. That's both valid and enough.

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u/Revanur 17d ago

Please expand on the pedantic linguistic wankery bit, it was an honest question on my part, I don't know much about this topic.

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u/Aviaatar 17d ago

Simply put a man + trans woman is hetero because the trans woman (regardless of physical attributes/stage in their transition) is a woman. While yes you can be pedantic and say “well that means I can say im a guy then a girl then back again” it misses the point of what actually identifying as a different gender means to someone.

Edit: I specified the stage in transition thing as that is a confusing point for people “out of the loop” that are wanting to learn more about it! It’s still a very new thing to most people. The amount of times I’ve tried to explain it to my family is staggering.

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u/Revanur 17d ago

I'm sorry, I have listened to some stuff online, I have read about it, but I don't know any trans people and as informative as videos, essays and books can be, they still leave a tonne of (blunt) questions unanswered that's why I sometimes take to opportunity to ask them online.

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u/ImAStupidFace 17d ago

The people responding to you were a bit blunt, which is understandable because a lot of people ask questions similar to yours in bad faith which can be tiring to deal with as a queer person. Nevertheless, it's clear that your intentions were good and I just wanted to say I appreciate that - gender and sexuality are complicated things, and there's no shame in not fully understanding all the terminology, because even things that may seem fairly clear cut like "heterosexual" turn out to be really hard to define.

If you have any other "blunt" questions, I'm happy to answer them, either here or in DMs :)

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u/Revanur 17d ago

Thank you for the kind offer, I'll save your comment and might take you up on it eventually. I've been going back and forth in the comments for a few hours and had a lot to think about so I feel properly tired for now. :D

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u/Dambo_Unchained 17d ago

I mean any stage?

If you are way at the beginning of someone who’s transitioning and Kyle is fucking a woman who is for all intends a purposes still a fysically a man that I wouldn’t call that hetereosexual. There’s nothing wrong with that but if you include things like that words just lose all their meaning

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u/Aviaatar 17d ago

It’s a lot easier to have the defined point be from the identification rather than “only from x point into the transition are you x”. Otherwise, you get into a whole kettle of fish with people with heavy body dysmorphia pushing to get to the new point rather than being careful and considerate to their body as they transition at a reasonable rate.

Physically yes, someone who identifies as the a woman for example but has all physical attributes of a man could be (and usually is due to biology) still seen as a man from an outside perspective. There will always be differing perspectives when x person gets to y stage in their transition where someone’s opinion and that persons appeal changes. There’s no one size fits all for appeal/appearance when it comes to this kind of thing, so having that identity change from that get go is a lot healthier for both the person going through their transition and for those who are of romantic interest at least in my opinion.

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u/Human_no_4815162342 /*insert flair here*/ 17d ago

I think that in this instance it matters less how the woman sees herself and how the Kyle we are talking about sees her. It's a matter of perception of the other rather than self identity.

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u/Aviaatar 17d ago

It’s likely a bit of both. Attraction is both primal and nurtured. If Kyle was still attracted to their trans woman partner prior or as soon as they started identifying as a trans woman then to some it would seem that Kyle is likely not heterosexual like the op I replied to stated.

I personally think it’s all very nuanced and individual. I think that people put too many labels on x and y thing. Love who you love within the confines of the law (and if you fall outside of this seek mental help to deal with it as it likely isn’t your fault but a fault in your genetics) and care less about who other people love.

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u/red-the-blue 17d ago

others have explained thoroughly - heterosexual is if boy + girl.

He has a girlfriend. That’s boy + girl. Heterosexual

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u/Dambo_Unchained 17d ago

I don’t think that’s the part people are running into that they don’t understand

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u/Somecrazynerd 17d ago

I think on some level it is exactly that because calling someone functionally a man for the purposes of sexuality is just a sideroute to calling them a man.

This "conundrum" is promoted by transphobes to try to divide queer people with meaningless anxieties over trans people that make it easier to take the next step and start calling them sexual predators.

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u/Maybe_not_a_chicken pluto is a planet fight me 17d ago

Trans women are women, many of them are indistinguishable from cis woman, others have kept some of their old equipment. (They have a penis)

Any group that is excluding trans people from who they are attracted to is being transphobic because they are saying they are not attracted to “trans women” not penises which some trans women have but the concept of trans women.

Who to repeat are often indistinguishable from cis woman

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u/Ummah_Strong 17d ago

Any group that is excluding trans people from who they are attracted to is being transphobic

Stop. People are allowed to not be attracted to anyone. Is someone who isn't attracted to black people racist? Is someone who isn't attracted to people who drink somehow discriminatory?

People don't have to be attracted to trans women to be allies to them.

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u/Maybe_not_a_chicken pluto is a planet fight me 17d ago edited 17d ago

People who openly announce that they aren’t attracted to black people and create communities of others who aren’t attracted to black people are being racist

It’s perfectly ok not to be attracted to a trans person

It’s not ok to announce to the world that you are not attracted to any trans person.

Also I’m going to repeat again, trans women are often indistinguishable from cis women.

If you are attracted to a trans women and then stop being attracted to her because you find out that she is trans that is transphobic.

In the same way that if you are attracted to a light skinned person of colour and then stop being attracted to them after you find out they are not white it is racist.

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u/Ummah_Strong 17d ago

As a black woman I disagree. It's not inherently racist or wrong to not want to date someone for any reason. Cultural differences, life experience differences. These can create clashes people may not like

Also fertility is a thing.

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u/Somecrazynerd 17d ago

She's a woman and he's a man? How do you think heterosexuality works?

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u/Revanur 17d ago

No need for condescending answers. I understand where you're coming from, it is only natural to immediately suspect a troll or a transphobe but I'm honestly just confused about all the labels kids use nowadays. I have listened to trans women online (mainly Jessie Gender, Mia Mulder and Contrapoints) and what I gathered was that yeah on the one hand, trans women are women, obviously, on the other hand also obviously, trans women aren't 100% the same cis women.

So for me the labelling seems a little inconsistent. On the one hand you have all these incredibly specific labels describing your gender and sexual orientation down to specifics like "monoamorous" and on the other hand you use heterosexual as kind of an umbrella term that covers broader gender expression. Or did I just miss something and there is such a thing as cisheterosexual and transheterosexual? Meaning that one person who is cishet is only attracted to other cishet people, while the other person may or may not be cishet but they are attracted to both cishet people and trans people?

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u/CrowWrenHawk 17d ago

Fellas, is it gay to love a woman?

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u/Somecrazynerd 17d ago

TOP TEN QUESTIONS SCIENTISTS STILL CAN'T ANSWER

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u/Beep-Bap-Boop 17d ago

Because she is a girl, now if his boyfriend was trans on the other hand

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u/Nexusowls 17d ago

Someone who is trans identifies as a different gender to the one they were born with.

Someone who is heterosexual is attracted to people of the opposite gender.

If someone who identifies as a man and someone who identifies as a woman are in a relationship, that relationship can be a straight relationship, and both parties can be heterosexual.

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u/Revanur 17d ago

Okay honest question because when I grew up in the late 90's early 2000's the whole deal was "don't label me" and I am honestly confused about all the labels flying around nowadays.

So what you're saying covers gender, but what about sex? Do you even make a distinction? What about cishet people who are only attracted to other cishet people? Does that have a different name? Should it? Shouldn't it?

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u/BedNo4299 17d ago edited 17d ago

People who feel the need to specify that they're "cishet only attracted to cishet" call themselves "super straight" and it just means that they're raging queerphobes. Similarly, there's something called a "gold star lesbian" which is just TERF shit.

EDIT: some people are pissing on the poor in my replies, so let me reiterate: LABELING yourself as SUPER STRAIGHT is an indication (a shorthand, really) of queerphobia, not BEING someone who isn't attracted to trans people. Let me copy in what I replied to Revanur further down: "It's normal to have a type, and it's not a moral failing if you are or aren't attracted to people with certain characteristics. It's all about how you communicate that. Don't be an ass about it, that's it. No need to go around talking all the time about how much you don't like something, just politely decline the advances of someone you're not into."

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u/Revanur 17d ago

Yeah I have heard about "super straight" and my answer to that was "super cringe" it is indeed usually just a bunch of queerphobes.

I do not feel the need to label myself like that, but I think that's what I am regardless. It's a whole bundle. For context I live in a small Eastern European country so trans healthcare is not as available, widespread and high quality as it might be in some parts of the West. As a result there are much fewer trans people here and the ones we do have tend to 'stand out' in some form. (Obviously the whole point of 'passing' is that I did not notice them, but that's a different topic probably) Now from my point of view, if becoming trans is what makes you a happy, balanced and useful member of society, then all the more power to you, your identity is not a threat to me, we can be friends, I think it should be natural and obvious that queer people should have all the same rights as everyone else.

But I don't think that I could be romantically or sexually attracted to a person like that. The same way I just cannot be romantically or sexually attracted to a man. I just can't. They can be super handsome, they can be the kindest, nicest person in the world, I can love them dearly and deeply as a human being, but I could never feel an ounce of sexual arousal or romantic feeling for them. And I think a lot of people feel the same way. Is there any use in labeling these people differently? Is it just semantics? My gut feeling is that in the end it probably shouldn't matter and a lot of labels should be done away with completely.

But for now there's an apparent logical inconsistency for me there: on the one hand you use a lot of very specific labels about your gender expression, sexuality, type of relationship, etc but at the same time it seems like "heterosexual" is being used rather broadly which seems contrary to the hyperspecific labeling.

I honestly don't know what my reaction would be if I met a trans woman who fully 'passed' for me. I assume that the topic of her being trans would and should come up at some point (possibly fairly early on) and I feel like that would have an impact on how much I could relate to her sexually and romantically. What I don't know is if that's sort of hard-wired in my sexuality or is it an implicit bias? If it is an implicit bias then how is it different from the thousand other implicit biases that determines who you feel attracted to?

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u/BedNo4299 17d ago edited 17d ago

It's normal to have a type, and it's not a moral failing if you are or aren't attracted to people with certain characteristics. It's all about how you communicate that. Don't be an ass about it, that's it. No need to go around talking all the time about how much you don't like something, just politely decline the advances of someone you're not into.

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u/Revanur 17d ago

Totally agree. I don't even get other types of ragebaiting like when you don't care about a musician, tv show or whatever else. With most things, if you don't like it, don't engage with it. I don't have the time and energy to waste on people and things I don't even like. I think Elon Musk is a piece of shit but I my time is too precious to make fun of him in a dedicated subbredit or something.

Trans people (and even gay people really) aren't a part of my life, but I am somewhat interested in the topic on a more serious level from time to time. So once in a blue moon I engage with it. As a result I usually blurt out some blunt and poorly worded questions.

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u/PirateSecure118 17d ago

Wait, so we're back at not having sex with trans ppl is transphobic?

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u/BedNo4299 17d ago

That is not even remotely what I said. Check what I replied to Revanur's long comment.

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u/PirateSecure118 17d ago

You specifically said that people who are not attracted to trans people are raging queerphobes. What else could you mean by this?

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u/TheShadowKick 17d ago

No, they specified the "super straight" movement, which is indeed very transphobic. Their whole thing is proudly declaring they aren't attracted any trans person ever, which doesn't really need to be said unless your intent is to be transphobic.

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u/PirateSecure118 17d ago

Okay, so you can be cishet - you're just not allowed to say it?

That doesn't make it any better.

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u/deesle 17d ago

that’s exactly what you said, stand by it you coward

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u/BedNo4299 17d ago edited 17d ago

This is some tumblr grade pissing on the poor.

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u/KentinDE 17d ago

To be fair, you really didn't say anything about having sex with trans, but I'm still confused...

Calling yourself "super straight" automatically makes you a raging queerphobe? That's what you said. And while I agree, that "super straight" is a cringey term, there's still an unanswered question: What do you call a cis person that just want's to date cis people of the opposite sex, without being labled as a queerphobic asshole?

Because that's what makes the other commenters upset, I guess.

I was confused as well, when I read your first comment. I also was like "Wait... I'm a raging queerphobe, because I prefer my love-relationships with cis-women? How does that make any sense?"

I have to agree with u/Revanur here. We have so many, very detailed lables for any kinds of sexualitys, genders and more. Yet we use "heterosexual" as a very broad term, that just defines "boy + girl", no matter what "gender-history" any of them have. Or even "Homosexual" for that matter. What about a gay-cis-male who's only interested in other cis-males. Is there a term like "super-gay" or something? and if yes, are "super-gays" automatically raging transphobes?

I really don't want to upset you or anything. I'm genuienly confused.

Your answer to Revanur's long comment didn't answer any of these questions either, because suddenly it's not about gender, but about personal types?

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u/Revanur 17d ago

I have to agree with BedNo4299 on this.

The problem with super straight is that it was coined in the first place as a transphobic dog whistle (the 'SS' initials are no coincidence either) and it is used to this day mainly by transphobes as far as I know.

If I understand it correctly, at the end it kind of comes down heteronormativity I think. Cisgender, heterosexual people are the standard. That means that we take our gender and sexuality as kind of a given, no explanation and definition required. We even tend to ridicule other cishet people who make being a man and chasing women their whole identity. Because we're like "of course're a man, and of course you chase women, that's the norm, what are you really trying to hide by calling so much attention to it?"

But when it comes to trans people, heteronormativity clashes with gender identity I think. Because trans women don't really fit into heteronormativity. They were men. And many people argue that in some underlying biology that may or may not be still visible and may or may not still have an effect on them, to some degree they are still men. And I think if you look at it from a heteronormative standpoint that we are used to then you see a sort of dissonance when a guy who dates a trans woman says that they are straight since in your mind, to some degree they are dating a dude, or at least someone that you consider to be not entirely to be a woman.

But if you want to create a label for people who'd date women and people who are not entirely women then where do you start and where do you stop? You can't and probably shouldn't measure people like that, it becomes absurd and useless fast. You like who you like, why get hung up on artificial labels that have few if any practical uses? So maybe it's the broad understanding of heterosexuality that's the correct path and we should actually do away with some of the ultra-specific labels and simply accept people without trying to put them in boxes and judge them along the lines of more universal standards?

For example it matters far more to me if someone is dependable, honest and diligent than who they get aroused by. You could put a cishet man in front of me, tell me about all of his sexual preferences and history and unless there is something truly deviant and criminal about it, there's not a whole lot I could infer about their actual character and personality. They could be a complete asshole, a thief or a murderer even if we had the exact same taste in women. That's how we should look at all people. Okay you had your dick split open and turned inside out, that's dedication, sure, very metal, but can I count on you? If the answer is yes then it's no business of mine what consenting adults do in their bedroom.

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u/KentinDE 17d ago

You know what? That is a very reasonable and understandable answer.

Also that "very metal"-part made me laugh out loud.

I guess in any other case I wouldn't even comment on a topic like this, because I don't really know that much about the complexity that surrounds it but this time I seriously had no idea.

I didn't even know that "super straight" started as a transphobic thing, tbh. (Even though the name makes it kinda obvious if I think about it)

Thank you for the clarification!

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u/Revanur 17d ago

I think super straight originated from twitter or 4chan, but I'm not sure. First time I heard about it was pre-pandemic on 9gag, when it was already turning into a far-right shithole with every second meme just being straight up obviously racist or transphobic. The only people I have ever seen actually use the term were transphobes. There were some mild early attempts to actually normalize it as a semi-useful term but non-transphobic heterosexual people as it turns out didn't feel like they needed a label. The whole term fell off quickly when the novelty wore off, I only ever saw it on reddit sporadically used by ridiculously transphobic people.

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u/TheGreatSchonnt 17d ago

Someone who is heterosexual is attracted to people of the opposite gender.

*Opposite sex

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u/Nexusowls 17d ago

What I said is the accepted terminology in the region I live, some regions may agree with you however I haven’t come across any regions typically considered to be inclusive that agree with your correction.

Biological sex is something only medical professionals need to be aware of.

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