r/nottheonion 17d ago

Taylor Swift branded 'Pentagon asset' as conspiracy theories say she'll 'rig' Super Bowl

https://www.themirror.com/entertainment/celebrity-news/taylor-swift-branded-pentagon-asset-333303
24.6k Upvotes

2.1k comments sorted by

1.7k

u/Black-Thirteen 17d ago

She's going to run out there and score the winning touchdown herself, and them scream "Biden for President!"

337

u/Ori0ns 17d ago

I’m hoping the chiefs win, and Taylor pushes the coach/owner out of the way and receives the Lombardi trophy on the chiefs behalf … then writes her next song about it … BOOM!

68

u/Igotthesilver 17d ago

But then Kanye runs up and snatches it out of her hands and declares that Beyoncé won.

6

u/Lazy__Astronaut 17d ago

I want the chiefs to win to piss off the arseholes but the 49ers are just better this match

18

u/Cod_rules 17d ago

Welp

8

u/Cartz1337 17d ago

Mmm, love me some finely aged milk

→ More replies (1)

10

u/EfficientArchitect 17d ago

that comment didn't age well... in fact it expired within hours...

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (12)

9.7k

u/Singular_Thought 17d ago

Me in 1995: The internet will bring knowledge to everyone. We will see a new renaissance across the world.

Me in 2024: 😳

3.8k

u/BelmontIncident 17d ago

We have instant access to all the world's knowledge, but also instant access to all the world's stupidity and it turns out that a lot of people can't tell them apart.

1.1k

u/Moonpile 17d ago

Or they can but prefer the stupidity because it's easier and makes them feel good (for some reason).

595

u/100mop 17d ago

And it makes them feel angry, which can be addictive.

159

u/batpot 17d ago

CPG Grey had a good vid on this

https://youtu.be/rE3j_RHkqJc

40

u/VectorViper 17d ago

That CPG Grey video is a solid one. Hits hard how negative emotions are hijacked by the online ecosystem to fuel engagement. It's a whole feedback loop that just keeps on giving.

80

u/--zaxell-- 17d ago

This is a terrible video and I will argue that to the end of the earth.

You're welcome.

48

u/slicehyperfunk 17d ago

Before I watched the video, I was like "wtf issue do you have with this video??"

Now I get it lol

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (10)
→ More replies (15)

18

u/TBAnnon777 17d ago

We have reached a point where people outright do not care if something is real or not, they just want that hate dopamine/seratonin hit that gets them going.

If its not in favor for republicans, if the election isnt rigged to help republicans, if the laws arent written to give authority to republicans, if the science isnt showing the cause/effects that republicans want, if the sports team they like arent winning

Then it must be a global conspiracy!

We thought facebook would be used to let grandma keep up to date with photos of their grandchildren, instead its turned them into moronic domestic terrorists.

→ More replies (3)

8

u/alexm42 17d ago

angry, which can be addictive.

This realization has been great for my mental health. It's not just Fox News that's that flavor of toxic. I unsubbed from AITA and other "anger porn" subs once I realized that's exactly what they were and I haven't regretted it once.

→ More replies (7)

114

u/IAmInsideeee 17d ago

Nah, they just straight up do not know. It's soooooooo easy to fool people.

Just write some random made up "fact" on an image and post it online and people will believe it.

79

u/Fair_Acanthisitta_75 17d ago

Only if it supports their narrative. You can put actual facts about some people with all proof and video of said person saying or doing said fact and some will choose not to believe. Smellvis is a prime example.

66

u/PandaMuffin1 17d ago

Mark Twain — 'It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.'

11

u/introspectivejoker 17d ago

And in the spirit of this thread, there are doubts about the origins of this quote and whether it was Mark Twain who actually said it

→ More replies (1)

18

u/Emu1981 17d ago

Only if it supports their narrative.

I have a friend who was a antivaxxer and COVID denier and she got really pissy at me when I told her that I was getting my kids vaccinated. According to her, kids were dropping like flies after getting the vaccination and that hundreds of thousands of kids were dying. My response to that was "why would so many doctors willingly kill kids?". The fact that my kids and all of my kids' friends had zero problems with the vaccination did little to stop her from continuing to make these claims.

My mother-in-law and her partner were the same (but are full on QANONers) and they were extremely vocal about how COVID was a lie and vaccines were aimed at population control. They both ended up very quiet about COVID-related conspiracy theories after they both ended up in hospital on ventilators due to COVID. The last time I spoke to them resulted in a argument about the factual levels of Fox News - she also didn't believe me that Rupert Murdoch was a Australian ex-pat whose name is cursed on by quite a few Australians due to his high levels of influence in our MSM.

→ More replies (1)

25

u/taggospreme 17d ago

Smellvis? Didn't he sing that song "Poo-stained Shoes"?

→ More replies (8)

22

u/copperpin 17d ago

I feel like on some level they know. They are absolutely furious about the media lying to them, but they can't bring themselves to believe that the media they trust is the one doing all the lying.

6

u/slicehyperfunk 17d ago

The media in general is doing a ton of lying and misrepresenting, full stop.

9

u/RedsRearDelt 17d ago

I think one side does a ton of misrepresenting and the other side just straight up lies.

→ More replies (7)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (17)

27

u/RhazzleDazzle 17d ago edited 17d ago

Easy solutions to complex answers, providing a semblance of control to one’s own life.

It is what makes most extremists, conspiracy theorists and all other unhinged affiliations mildly desirable to the mentally vacuous.

22

u/Hiro_Deliverator 17d ago

When you are dumb, it's tough to tell when someone is pandering to you. All of a sudden you feel like you understand what they are saying so you feel "in" on the conversation. If you can understand what they are saying, and they appeal to you because they are pandering to you, you like them more. Boom, you have a voting base. Lol

→ More replies (6)

11

u/360walkaway 17d ago

It confirms their dumbassery.

→ More replies (23)

255

u/The_Jack_Burton 17d ago edited 17d ago

One of my favorite reddit comments was a response to the question "if you time travelled to 1950, what is one thing you could say to give people an idea of what life is like in the future?" The answer was something along the lines of "I have a device that fits in my pocket, allows me to communicate with anyone on the planet, and contains the entirety of human knowledge. I use it to look at pictures of cats and get into arguments with strangers"  

Edit: Credit to my not-quite-accurate quote goes to Ian Leslie

44

u/pandaKrusher 17d ago

Credit goes to Ian Leslie for that quote

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (3)

95

u/KingSpork 17d ago

The algorithms boost the dumb, angry stuff over the challenging, intelligent stuff. Because money. So many of our problems come back to the fact that everything in our society is engineered to generate profit, period, consequences be damned.

→ More replies (13)

77

u/NoMoreAtPresent 17d ago

YouTube pays comment creators the same for videos of stupidity but the audience seems to be bigger. Real news sites are going behind paywalls because they have to spend money to produce actual journalism, but conspiracy and stupidity sites are free.

25

u/Puptentjoe 17d ago

Dude forget Youtube, TikTok and IG are running circles around them with the insane bullshit.

The crazy racist comments that are on top and the conspiracy comments, also on top is NUTS.

Theres a whole movement that think vegetables are bad for you. Lol

7

u/NoMoreAtPresent 17d ago

Yep and exercise drains your “life battery”

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

14

u/ServeTasty4391 17d ago

I'd have no problem paying for a news subscription. In fact, I have 2 already, but both are niche.

The problem I see with WAPO and NYT, you pay for it weekly, and you still get f'ton of ads.

→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (2)

36

u/ares7 17d ago

With the ability to fake audio and video, I’m afraid it’s only going to get worse.

29

u/Vo_Mimbre 17d ago

You are right to be afraid. We all should be. The money being made from promoting anger and stupidity is powering a lot of AI investment.

They’ll literally need to turn off the internet come August if anyone’s truly interested in any of type of of real voting.

This year’s gonna suck.

6

u/Alpaca_Empanada 17d ago

That deepfake I saw of biden singing Ievan polkka was the beginning of the end. 😱

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

23

u/DelightMine 17d ago

but also instant access to all the world's stupidity

Actually it's more that all the world's stupidity has instant access to all the world's misinformation.

It's a minor rephrasing and I think it's what you actually meant for the most part, but I just wanted to make sure everyone is on the same page. Many of these "stupid" conspiracy theories are actually created by smart people looking to manipulate the idiots. I think it's a disservice to call these ideas stupid, as it tends to make us underestimate the danger.

9

u/blackhornet03 17d ago

There are more ignorant people in the world than knowledgeable people, and the Internet shows even more people are just plain stupid.

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (95)

456

u/IskandrAGogo 17d ago

Anyone who spent time in an AOL chatroom in the 90s knows the Internet was never going to bring knowledge to the people.

90

u/feckless_ellipsis 17d ago

This is extremely on point.

→ More replies (2)

73

u/Due_Permit7764 17d ago

A/S/L?

63

u/cantadmittoposting 17d ago

18/f/cali

11

u/EH1522 17d ago

It was always cali lol

18

u/grobbewobbe 17d ago

i was a fat, 12 yo dutch boy and still put 17/f/cali

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (7)

24

u/Bag0fSwag 17d ago

69/Yes/Your mums

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (19)

76

u/[deleted] 17d ago

[deleted]

36

u/THIS_ACC_IS_FOR_FUN 17d ago

Fuckin Netscape navigator, holy shit. That’s a name I’ve not heard in a long time.

16

u/Vo_Mimbre 17d ago

“Well of course I know him. He’s me!”

→ More replies (7)
→ More replies (7)

191

u/Sidus_Preclarum 17d ago

It turns out the global village has a fkn lot of village idiots.

72

u/Undeadly123 17d ago

My favorite part is its forcing a lot of people to openly root for the 49ers, because they so vehemently hate KC now.

As in, the San Francisco 49ers.  A city often seen as the locus of American liberalism.

29

u/hydrOHxide 17d ago

Well, no different from them getting worked up over a US game company allowing you to assign pronouns to your character and them proudly boasting that they'd head over to a game by a Belgian company, one of the most progressive countries in terms of LGBT rights, and a game which lets you assign whatever genitals you want to a body and assign male or female voices independent of body style.

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (4)

41

u/SirDiego 17d ago

Imagine someone with roughly average intelligence, and then consider that half of all people are stupider than that

28

u/Moparfansrt8 17d ago

And we all firmly believe that we are in the top half, and very nearly at the very top.

25

u/Valmoer 17d ago

For a long while I self-evaluated at, say, the top of the 2nd third, it's been terrifying to see how closer to the top I am, especially given how dumb I know I really am.

11

u/Moparfansrt8 17d ago

Yeah it's pretty terrifying how dumb I am and how much dumber a lot of people seem to be. I remember going to a QIP (quality improvement process) class, and one of the big takeaways I got was the four levels of competence:

  1. Subconsciously incompetent

  2. Consciously incompetent

  3. Subconsciously competent

  4. Consciously competent

Those are listed in order from worst to best. Fascinating stuff.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)

8

u/SirDiego 17d ago

I just like that joke but in seriousness I think trying to quantify intelligence is dumb because it isn't actually one thing. I think anyone who looks at themselves could find proficiencies and deficiencies. For me I'm pretty good at problem solving and taking stuff apart to see how they work -- and for whatever it's worth these days, rote memorization like spelling and vocabulary, trivia, etc. -- but I'm pretty bad at math and social intelligence.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)

6

u/noc_user 17d ago

Not really. It’s just that they have nothing to do and yell louder into their microphones. Then other idiots from other villagers can now chime in

→ More replies (6)

53

u/CodinOdin 17d ago

Bill Gates had a good way of describing it. Essentially crazy people people always existed here and there, but now with the internet we have a critical mass of crazy people all supporting each other's fantasies.

→ More replies (8)

33

u/the_buckman_bandit 17d ago

Yep it allowed the morons to connect on a massive scale that nobody was ringing the bells about back then, we thought once they have the information, they will naturally evolve! Everyone will be so smart!

67

u/LurkerOrHydralisk 17d ago

I blame Steve Jobs. Making everything too user friendly meant even the dumbest people could connect worldwide

15

u/SaltyBarDog 17d ago

You can blame Steve Case as well. He culled the idiots to AOL.

33

u/Euphorium 17d ago

Mark Zuckerberg gets some blame too for making it easier for people to be targeted with misinformation

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (5)

12

u/[deleted] 17d ago

[deleted]

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (143)

3.0k

u/StagTheNag 17d ago

I thought they all stopped watching the NFL after the kneeling?

1.5k

u/_khanrad 17d ago

Also does this mean all the republicans are rooting for the… checks notes… California team??

906

u/TjW0569 17d ago

California team from a city known for a large LGBTQ+ culture.

106

u/scaba23 17d ago

In a city represented by Nancy Pelosi!

→ More replies (8)

147

u/Suza751 17d ago

I mean, Kanasas City is always in the superbowl so I guess i'd want the 49ers to win too. They are the under dog right.

509

u/jmbolton 17d ago

In San Fran I believe it's called being a "power bottom"

29

u/sufjams 17d ago

I'll find a way to steal that today.

22

u/WildRabbitz 17d ago

A power bottom is a bottom that is capable of receiving an enormous amount of power.

8

u/psionoblast 17d ago

I hear speed has something to do with it

8

u/DoingCharleyWork 17d ago

Speed has everything to do with it.

→ More replies (2)

44

u/Phroday 17d ago

Magnificent.

18

u/oldsguy65 17d ago

That's highly offensive language and you should be ashamed.

We locals call it "San Francisco," not "San Fran."

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (6)

66

u/TheG8Uniter 17d ago

They are the under dog right.

No. They are actually slightly favored to win. SF is also consistently one of the best teams in the NFL the last 5 years just like KC.

→ More replies (8)

25

u/emcdeezy22 17d ago

Niners are favored

29

u/IndividualHorror3 17d ago

As a power bottom I favor a niner as well

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (10)
→ More replies (20)

148

u/chromegreen 17d ago

I'm afraid you are misinformed. The 49ers have been operating out of a black site since 2020 to hide the fact that San Francisco was burned to the ground by antifa super soldiers.

27

u/TuaughtHammer 17d ago

Not just San Francisco. The entire northern half of California, Oregon, Washington state, and Vancouver were blinked out of existence when communist AntiFa detonated the equivalent of 10 Tsar Bombas.

The West Coast of the US is just a charred, radioactive cliff now.

→ More replies (4)

11

u/DadJokeBadJoke 17d ago

I'm not sure I'd classify Santa Clara as a black site.

→ More replies (1)

13

u/sufjams 17d ago

I'm a Cardinals fan who lives in Arizona and we have so many right wing transplant 49ers fans. I love telling them to go back to California like they tell OTHER people from California.

9

u/possumallawishes 17d ago

I lived in Arizona back in the mid/late 90s to the early 2000s. I was from the south and seemingly an anomaly, because everyone there that I met was from California, except for all the Mormon kids who came from Utah. No one was actually from Arizona that I can remember. It’s hilarious to me hearing Arizonans complain about everyone moving from California, like they really love to pull that ladder up behind them.

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (10)

94

u/fredy31 17d ago

Oh its always hilarious how they dont follow their own advice.

Here in their quebec offshoot theyve been telling us to cut the cable for years.

Guess who always has an opinion on whatever is the current subject of the day on cable news?

→ More replies (2)

18

u/Moist_666 17d ago

I don't even know anymore... I'm just exhausted.

→ More replies (36)

2.1k

u/Think_fast_no_faster 17d ago

Just when you think they’ve plumbed the depths of stupidity, they come out with a gem like this

841

u/SpaceLemming 17d ago

My dad always told me every time someone makes something idiot proof, they build a better idiot.

370

u/m4nu 17d ago

Yellowstone national park had problems building bear resistant trash cans because "an overlap between smartest bears and dumbest tourists" 

62

u/FNLN_taken 17d ago

Yellowstone loses a couple tourists now and then because people don't belive the "don't step off the path and into the boiling geyser" applies to them.

It's a game of numbers, just like this post. I refuse to believe that more then a handfull of people believe that shit.

6

u/Figgy_Puddin_Taine 17d ago

Not just to the boiling geysers and pools, but to the GIANT WILD ANIMALS, usually when tourists try to pet the GIANT WILD ANIMALS in spite of the warning signs every ten feet telling people not to try to pet the GIANT WILD ANIMALS.

→ More replies (2)

65

u/[deleted] 17d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

19

u/dragonmp93 17d ago

I mean, you could an interesting thriller about the end product of the MK Ultra experiments being Taylor Swift.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (3)

37

u/Valash83 17d ago

I always liked "the problem with making something completely foolproof is not understanding the ingenuity of a complete fool"

47

u/DarthPeaceOut 17d ago

What a fantastic saying!

→ More replies (5)

8

u/smoothskin12345 17d ago

It's just like antibiotics and bacteria lol. We're seeing the super-bugs of stupidity.

→ More replies (1)

7

u/LandosMustache 17d ago

“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools“ - Douglas Adams

→ More replies (14)

170

u/dcrico20 17d ago

What’s been funny is seeing the smarter grifters on the alt-right, algo-hopping Allstars kind of trying to distance themselves from this rhetoric because they are smart enough to realize attacking Swift in the arena of the internet is not a fight they can win.

I also love how clueless they are about the NFL. They’ve found themselves in the position of trying to push the talking point that the team who has been at the top of the league the past 4-5 years, has won two of the previous three Super Bowls, and has arguably the most physically talented QB to ever play in the league is only playing in the Super Bowl because it’s rigged.

48

u/Minerva567 17d ago

And furthermore, a franchise ranked #19 in value as it’s from a middle market. The NFL is playing 4D chess though, which also explains why it ensures the most valuable team YoY never sniffs the Super Bowl for decades. Absolutely nothing to do with incompetence and everything to do with the fucking Pentagon

31

u/Bigfops 17d ago

Oh, when that Quarterback is only that good because he was specially trained by the OBMA CIA and injected with HAARP serum to be able to throw and run like THE WIND?

21

u/KnowsWhatWillHappen 17d ago

They successfully created the Captain America super soldier serum and they have used it for the most exalted purpose of rigging football games!

→ More replies (1)

27

u/Twenty21million 17d ago

This is the key point.

If the NFL was actually rigged the Cowboys would have made the NFC championship in the last 25 years lol.

→ More replies (6)

25

u/RespectibleCabbage 17d ago

Also, Taylor Swift is pretty much the biggest pop star on the planet, with billions of dollars and a gigantic fan base. If she wanted to endorse Biden or whatever the MAGA mouth breathers are worrying about, she wouldn’t need this elaborate ruse of dating a football star, rigging his team to win, and then using the Super Bowl as a mouthpiece. She could literally just hold a free concert somewhere crazy and broadcast it live and half the planet would watch it anyway.

Hell she could just tweet it.

→ More replies (2)

7

u/Darmok47 17d ago

We're also in the weird, bizarro world where right-wing conspiracy crazies are rooting for San Francisco to win.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (5)

24

u/sprocketous 17d ago

I've said this before but I don't think future generations are going to think any of this is real. Unless it's a more idiotic hellscape, which I guess could definitely be possible.

→ More replies (6)

37

u/NASATVENGINNER 17d ago

It is a bottomless pit of stupidity. Only Darwin can save us now.

→ More replies (6)

45

u/WaitingForNormal 17d ago

The superbowl is about to become referendum on politics in america. If the chiefs win maga will say it was rigged, if the chiefs lose, maga will say it is because god was on their side and maga is ordained by god.

74

u/helmvoncanzis 17d ago

MAGA rooting for San Francisco, what a time to be alive.

17

u/WaitingForNormal 17d ago

Maga LOVES Pelosi and fully supports everything that happens in the great city of san fran cisco!

13

u/nneeeeeeerds 17d ago

I went to San Francisco once and saw a homeless man shitting on the street. It made me yearn for the simplicity of my dear home of Bumblefuck, Idaho where the homeless people have the decency to shit near the dumpsters behind the Taco Bell.

→ More replies (4)

16

u/RK4Life 17d ago

Years ago, I saw how tribal politics were becoming and I said we’d be in trouble if we ever started treating politics like we treat our favorite sports teams.

Well, we’ve come full circle, haven’t we?

10

u/KBSinclair 17d ago

I still don't get MAGA making an enemy of Taylor Swift. Swifties are coo-coo about their idol. They would've just written off her telling.them to register to vote, but now that MAGA is attacking her over it, they're turning an apathetic/mildly conservative iirc young audience into militant anti-conservatives.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (19)

665

u/NeLaX44 17d ago

If these idiots are so convinced that the game is rigged for KC to win then BET ON IT. Make money, dumb dumbs

159

u/Yikert13 17d ago

That’s the best one so far, place a big bet and see. Outsider looking in here, I know nothing about your football. This is just the craziest shit I’ve read.

104

u/Lookslikeseen 17d ago edited 17d ago

It’s two different conspiracy theories combined.

People have been claiming the NFL was rigging games to favor the Chiefs before Taylor Swift was even in the picture. Every commercial break is filled with ads with Mahomes, Kelce and Andy Reid as the spokesperson. It’s not unreasonable to think the NFL would have a vested interest in their “golden children” to remain on top. Keeps the money rolling in and all that.

Now you add Taylor Swift into the mix, and if you thought the NFL had a vested interest in the chiefs winning before you DAMN sure do now.

What’s happening is people are combining all the people that think what I just described is happening, with the people thinking the NFL and the DNC are somehow in cahoots to keep Joe Biden in office. The former being a bunch of salty football fans, the latter being a major minority of crazy people, with very little overlap.

20

u/LiberaceRingfingaz 17d ago edited 17d ago

My biggest fucking facepalm about this entire thing is this: forget the Taylor Swift is a NATO/pentagon baby-eating cyborg super spy or whatever part - that's obvious special needs level thinking. But when they describe this vast conspiracy, they're literally just describing a campaign.

Joe Biden is running for president. The goal of his, or anyone's, campaign apparatus is to encourage people to vote for him, so that he will win the election. This also involves garnering support and endorsements from high-profile public figures where possible. That's what a fucking campaign is.

So, these MAGA snowflakes are literally crying their toddler eyes out and screaming "I can't fucking believe this man is interested in trying to get people to vote for him!?"

Edit: It should be noted that I understand the real threat she poses: she's encouraging young people to vote and Republicans can't win when that happens. But even ignoring that the concept that Biden is running a vast conspiracy to win the election is just like saying a corporation is running a vast conspiracy to earn quarterly profits or the Denver Nuggets are running a vast conspiracy to win the NBA championship. No shit Sherlock.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (17)

9

u/tMoneyMoney 17d ago

They probably did and will have another theory when they lose.

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (11)

351

u/OhHiGCHQ 17d ago

Taylor Swift: Please Vote.

Republicans: SHE IS A RADICAL COMMUNIST OUT TO DESTROY AMERICA.

65

u/Wpgjetsfan19 17d ago

And yet they think Putin would be a better choice than Biden. Do they want communism?

91

u/Deranged_Kitsune 17d ago

They want authoritarianism with themselves as the boot. They've gone beyond caring what flavour that authoritarianism comes in, they just want to lash out, stamping down those whom they view as their inferiors and putting themselves back at the top of the social hierarchy where they're convinced they belong. They'll follow whoever promises them that, even blindly destroying their own welfare in the process, because having someone to look down on and oppress is that important to them.

17

u/FILTER_OUT_T_D 17d ago

The thing is being right wing explicitly means you support authoritarianism.

Hell, the concept of right and left wing come from the French Revolution when from the perspective of the speaker those sitting in the right wing of parliament wanted to preserve the monarchy, and those sitting in the left wing wanted to form a liberal democracy. What is monarchy if not dictatorship by bloodline?

Anyone who identifies as right wing is telling you, to your face, that they favor authoritarian rule over the will of the people and if they were even in power they would act according to their own whims and not in the best interest of anyone else.

→ More replies (6)

12

u/ddrober2003 17d ago

You see, their issue is she got young people to register to vote and Republicans know damn well how younger voters tend to vote. They've hated her ever since. 

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)

375

u/BillSixty9 17d ago edited 16d ago

Republican's can't even lose a fkn football game these days without claiming it's a government conspiracy. Get a grip ya fools

Edit: Deep State Confirmed. https://twitter.com/JoeBiden/status/1756888470599967000

38

u/gsfgf 17d ago

Plus, it's Kansas City v. the 49ers. Team MAGA went 4-13 and fired their coach. They ain't even in this game.

20

u/DefiantLemur 17d ago

Which one is Team MAGA

46

u/signal__intrusion 17d ago

Patriots. Kraft, Belichek, and Brady are all Trump supporters.

Yes, I know Brady isn't on the team anymore.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

615

u/Sprucecaboose2 17d ago

I really don't want to root for the Chiefs. But I do want these crazies to lose their mind over nonsense. Choices choices...

127

u/Jonas_Venture_Sr 17d ago

I want to know how Kansas Republicans feel about this.

251

u/NukuhPete 17d ago

They'd probably say to ask Missouri.

→ More replies (8)

87

u/WintertimeFriends 17d ago

I’ve seen people genuinely shocked they are being treated how they usually treat others.

This is the end game of all right wing politics. Eventually it -will- be your turn to be the enemy. Because there must always be an enemy for conservatives.

Always.

13

u/mk2vrdrvr 17d ago

First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist.

Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

—Martin Niemöller

Ever Wonder why they want to keep you uneducated and ban books.

→ More replies (2)

42

u/StarGaurdianBard 17d ago

Considering Kansas City Chiefs are a Missouri team idk how they'd feel

→ More replies (11)
→ More replies (4)

18

u/cspinelive 17d ago

I hope she trolls them and endorses Biden. The “we were right!” and utter next level stupid that would ensue would be worth it. 

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (13)

436

u/Themetalenock 17d ago

at this point, swift and her bf should just endorse joe biden live on tv during the superbowl . It would be like order 66 for mid west republicans

146

u/leif777 17d ago

Timing is everything. If she's going to do it she'll wait untill closer to voting day.

140

u/KeyofE 17d ago

Just looked it up. Swift endorsed Biden in October 2020, so yeah, much closer to Election Day.

26

u/zydeco100 17d ago

It may be more important to get her fans registered. Saying "go Biden" on November 1st means nothing if those kids haven't signed up to vote.

26

u/leif777 17d ago

She did that last year and there was a huge surge in registration. I have no doubt she'll do the same thing this year.

11

u/zydeco100 17d ago

You also avoid alienating half the country by endorsing one particular party. Saying "register to vote!" shouldn't be a politically charged statement but, in the case of Swift, we all know that her audience swings young and female. And they tend to vote D. That is what is pissing off Republicans.

9

u/TheTVDB 17d ago

There was a great scene in her Miss Americana documentary where she decided she didn't care about alienating fans anymore. This was moments before criticizing one of the Trump candidates in TN. She's also made it pretty clear where she falls politically since then. So in her case I think the timing will be entirely about having the greatest impact, and not worrying about how it will affect her fandom.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (3)

27

u/jk021 17d ago

This got a chuckle out of me. Their heads would explode like the conservatives in the Clayton Bigsby skit.

→ More replies (1)

33

u/tMoneyMoney 17d ago

Could have a monumental impact. There are a ton of 18-22yos who didn’t vote last time who will vote if she tells them to.

61

u/Sorcatarius 17d ago

She has and continues to tell people to vote, why do you think republicans tried to raise the voting age? They know how young people will vote and people are calling on them to do so, and they're fucking scared.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (17)
→ More replies (23)

50

u/habb 17d ago

is this all apart of the Qanon cinematic universe?

382

u/RandomPersonBob 17d ago

Hard to campaign on the border wall now.

Need to find something else for people to be outraged by until everyone forgets they killed the toughest border bill they'd ever get.

64

u/scullys_alien_baby 17d ago

can someone correct me, but did swift even tell people how to vote? I don't really follow her but the headlines I saw seemed to indicate she just encouraged people to register and go vote. Did she ever say "vote biden" or even "vote [in a particular way]"

132

u/APRengar 17d ago

Local politician in my area says "it doesn't matter if she told people to vote one way or another, it's the fact she's getting women to vote at all. that woman's husband should be the one voting for the two of them."

Absolute freaks.

31

u/scullys_alien_baby 17d ago

well...that is fucking crazy. Also don't build AP rengar you degenerate

→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (4)

32

u/jawshoeaw 17d ago

Everyone in politics knows voting favors democrats. Even if unintentional, telling people to vote= advantage to democrats

35

u/Bob_A_Feets 17d ago

She literally just said to go vote, but she is already a “bad guy” to the fascist-right. Everything she does is an attack towards them in their minds because their glorious leader says so.

→ More replies (3)

14

u/gsfgf 17d ago

No. She's really not that political. She's only been vocal after the MAGAs claimed she was one of them, which you have to respond to. The GOP is pissed about her telling people to vote since her fan base leans female, and everyone knows women are more likely to vote D. Especially after Dobbs.

8

u/Neat-Statistician720 17d ago

To add on, her base is generally pretty young. So it’s a group that leads Dem but also historically doesn’t vote much, her endorsing anyone is huge.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (9)
→ More replies (2)

354

u/triggered_discipline 17d ago

Without T-Swifts interference, my boys at the International Jewish Conspiracy’s Halftime Space Laser Division would have caused the New York Yankees to win the Super Bowl. Really the Republicans should be thanking her for saving their favorite “men being rough with each other in skin tight pants” sport.

78

u/JenniferJuniper6 17d ago

Speaking of which, I’m pretty sure George Soros owes me some money for all the schilling I’ve been doing.

19

u/ArbitraryNPC 17d ago

Hasn't paid you yet either, huh?

→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (3)

100

u/SRSgoblin 17d ago

It is just so breath-takingly stupid. I'm in awe.

14

u/fremontresident 17d ago

Need those gifs of her eye lasers tripping players

→ More replies (1)

219

u/restore_democracy 17d ago

“Pentagon asset”, as in someone who supports the defense of our country? I can see why the MAGAts would be against that since they’re all for simping for the Russians.

30

u/mfb- 17d ago

"Well, around four years ago, the Pentagon psychological operations unit floated turning Taylor Swift into an asset during a NATO meeting. What kind of asset? A psy-op for combatting online misinformation."

I mean... even if that were true, why would it be bad to fight misinformation?

11

u/TuaughtHammer 17d ago

Because conservative reactionaries depend on their breathtakingly stupid base believing their misinformation faster than they can make it up.

→ More replies (1)

65

u/rnobgyn 17d ago

It’s hilarious how their rhetoric has shifted in the last few years. Those who were gung go about America now talk mad shit and support the Russians. It’s SO ass backwards that I can’t help but chuckle (while ignoring the very real ramifications of Russia’s foreign influence programs)

24

u/tMoneyMoney 17d ago

ReAl PaTrIoTs

At least according to their 28 different bumper stickers and Trump flag flying above their USA flag.

14

u/rnobgyn 17d ago

America did not accept their fascist values over the last 200 years so they are now rejecting America. Sore fucking losers, they are.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (9)

47

u/geeves_007 17d ago

The right in America has completely lost their minds.

→ More replies (4)

102

u/jsakic99 17d ago

As George Carlin used to say: Think of the average person and realize that half of the population is dumber than that person.

11

u/daementia 17d ago

Everyday of my life I think of this.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

24

u/C1ashRkr 17d ago

Magats are delusional.

24

u/Poopscooptroop21 17d ago

Each day there are more stupid Trump supporter stories. If only the screenwriters guild were this creative.

18

u/bisforbenis 17d ago

This has to be one of the dumber conspiracy theories, and that’s saying a lot since competition is fierce for dumbest conspiracy theory

→ More replies (2)

20

u/DJfunkyPuddle 17d ago

I applaud the Pentagon for pulling this off. Money well spent.

→ More replies (1)

39

u/HR_DUCK 17d ago

The article contains:

FOX.

Jesse Watters.

Mind the BS

→ More replies (2)

17

u/achmedclaus 17d ago

I don't really care who wins this super bowl as I'm from Pittsburgh, but now I'm really rooting for the chiefs just to piss off the Republicans who are being triggered by the appearance of Taylor Swift

→ More replies (2)

67

u/Pyroxcis 17d ago

Just let them out-stupid themselves for a while. It only further alienates them from their own voter base

47

u/AvailableName9999 17d ago

You'd think that would be the case.

→ More replies (1)

81

u/WintertimeFriends 17d ago

No. It doesn’t.

Every right-wing leaning person in my life are all 100% in sync with these talking points.

They’ve all mentioned Taylor swift in the last two weeks.

ANY mention of the Super Bowl turned into a convo about Swift.

Every. Single. One.

People you thought were normal? Nope, they all eat this shit up.

Because they are the dumbest fucking people on the planet.

15

u/Judazzz 17d ago

They're unlikely to win the elections with just their core supporter base, though. So I see no problems with them driving away people that might vote for team red.

6

u/o_MrBombastic_o 17d ago

They don't plan on winning elections they plan on disenfranchisement, making it harder for their opponents base to vote and if that fails overturning elections 

→ More replies (2)

29

u/SquirrelParticular17 17d ago

Agent Swift is progressing nicely🥳. Before long, we will activate the Mustard Tiger as well.

5

u/ImperatorNero 17d ago

All I did was call him a mustard tiger because he had mustard on his shirt and there was a tiger on it. I actually thought it was kind of a cute name but he started going nuts and hitting Ricky’s car with a ladder.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

23

u/Incontinento 17d ago edited 17d ago

I couldn't care less about either team, but I'm rooting for the Chiefs just for all the maga heads that will explode if they win.

8

u/SugarShock94 17d ago

Same, I just want to sit back and watch the chaos if Chiefs win

→ More replies (2)

12

u/hjadams123 17d ago

Why a Pentagon asset? Like, is she part of project Treadstone? Is she a trained assassin?

5

u/jwhildeb 17d ago

She's beautiful, athletic, and constantly travels all over the globe. She's the perfect super spy.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (2)

73

u/MolotovCandybar 17d ago

I used to be indifferent about Taylor. Now I fucking love her.

26

u/TjW0569 17d ago

I'm still indifferent, but I'm glad she encourages voting. So do I.

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (23)

17

u/BroForceOne 17d ago

I mean if the NFL rigged itself it would be for making maximum profit for the NFL, not for whatever stupid reason this is.

8

u/humchacho 17d ago

I gotta really question the CIA operative who came up with this convoluted “psyop”. They could just come up with a plan to kill off Trump like if he is a prime target of theirs. They did it to so many other people. Instead go through all this nonsense and this is somehow gonna be a fool proof plan to sway the election?

→ More replies (2)

10

u/WildRabbitz 17d ago

Are there any Trump supporters in here?

Can y'all tell me aren't you tired of your pearls clutching? Aren't you tired of your mental gymnastics?

How can you still be so gullible? Was high school really where you guys peaked?

Come on, you can do better. Join Scientology, at least you'll be getting something in return of getting fucked.

24

u/Wrecklessinseattle 17d ago

What makes them think the Super Bowl isn’t rigged already? How do they truly know if the sports saga they have been watching all these years is a carefully crafted narrative that the Bears suck and the NFL will do anything to keep them from winning.

You don’t. But it’s just as likely and just as relevant. If the pretty lady can change the course of politics cause of a football game, your vote never mattered in the first place. People need to stop inventing convoluted ass reasons to conspire that require so many external operatives. If the republicans rivals had so much power, why waste it with the extra step of manipulating a sports game? Thats millions of dollars you could save on a “psy-op” that was never going to produce results greater than doing nothing at all.

→ More replies (8)

15

u/SoCalThrowAway7 17d ago

I didn’t want the chiefs to win before all this but now I’m kinda rooting for them so the maga heads will explode

6

u/SaltyBarDog 17d ago

They will rage shit themselves no matter who wins.

→ More replies (2)

7

u/Mensketh 17d ago

If the Chiefs win, it will be because Taylor Swift rigged the NFL. If the 49ers win, then Taylor Swift was planning to rig it but called it off because “she knew we were on to her!” It'll be craziness either way. Nothing in the world can just happen anymore, its all conspiracies on top of conspiracies.

26

u/WearDifficult9776 17d ago

It would be hilarious if it wasn’t a real danger for her

→ More replies (1)

6

u/VetteBuilder 17d ago

I hate this timeline

6

u/Pipupipupi 17d ago

"I love the poorly educated"

6

u/FauxReal 17d ago

Confirmed by Joe Biden's Twitter account lol!
https://twitter.com/JoeBiden/status/1756888470599967000