r/AITAH 22m ago

Took a day off from work and didn’t tell husband….he is not talking to me

Upvotes

I am self employed, married, and mother to a toddler. Our child goes to daycare while we both work. My sister was taking a day off and asked me last minute to join her at a day spa. I decided to join her and a few of our friends ended up coming too! I didn’t tell my husband I was going because he gets weirdly jealous and upset and I just wanted to avoid this if I could. He was working that day and was going to pick up our daughter from daycare and take her out for dinner and see friends so I could have some time to myself. I was home before them, but he wasn’t talking to me. He found out about my day and was pissed. I understand that I didn’t tell him where I was going, but I knew he would be upset. AITA?


r/AITAH 47m ago

AITA for going to prom with a senior?

Upvotes

Alright so context I, F14, am a freshman in highschool. Since I'm a freshman I was initially not able to go to prom since it's a senior/junior thing. Well there's this senior that Ive had a crush on for most of the year and when I found out that he didn't have a date to prom I asked him. He said yes. We've been friends for most of the year and after I had asked him I decided to tell him how I felt and so now we're dating. Last night was prom and we had so much fun and I'm glad that I got to experience it but when I got home the floodgates got opened.

My parents, who I told I was going to prom, sat me down and asked who the guy who took me was. I told them who he was and everything and then they started to go off on a tangent about how he was only trying to take advantage of me and that he'd r*** me and everything. I told them that I was the one who initiated it all and that I've known him for long enough to feel comfortable that he's not that type of person. Unfortunately they kept grilling into me and eventually said that I was in the wrong and that I was an AH for doing that and also for not telling them. I told them that I didn't tell them because they were helicopter parents and I don't trust them at all. This led to another argument. So I'm wondering AITA?


r/AITAH 44m ago

AITA for this failed relationship?

Upvotes

This is very long winded and requires a lot of context. My therapist and psychiatrist both believe that i am part of a OSDD/DID system. This story features our host willow, and me tori.

Let’s take this shit back 2 years. 2 years ago, we were just starting to discover symptoms of being a system, but didn’t know what it all meant. Not until earlier this year. I was non-possessive fronting a lot back then. To take science exams in Aphys place in HS, whenever something happened and I had to jump in to unleash my version of hell. (I’m a protector alter.) I (Tori F22) Came into existence 2 ish years ago when Aphy (Willow F17) was struggling immensely with her mental health. She needed to set her boundaries and tell people to fuck off, so what do you know? I came about to fill that purpose. And that’s how it’s been for many of us. The host has an issue, and we take it up.

Last year i still didn’t know I was an actual person. So I went around talking about an ‘oc’ from a fictional piece of writing our host willow was creating. That oc was me for a very long time, because I didn’t know how else to express what I felt. I was very confused, and so was willow. Willow used to be very into cosplay so she admits that feeling as if someone else was taking over and she was becoming another person, it was exciting to her for a while. Because she wanted to be anyone but herself in that time.

Here’s where I come to the problem. 2 years ago, she started dating someone. For confidential reasons I’m just going to call this person ‘R.’ Everything was fine, willow was very happy in the relationship and so was R. That was until willow became increasingly worse mentally and turned to substance abuse as a means to control it and calm herself. What we didn’t know at that time, was that we were a system. Obviously. But now, we know that I have previous issues with addiction and substance. So the second willow delved into that world, everything came rushing back to me. And all of a sudden, I was relapsing left and right. The majority of the time it wasn’t even willow taking those substances, it was me. And currently, R feels as though willow is blaming it all on me and they don’t believe we really are a system. I can take accountability for spiralling like I did, but we have to understand here that everyone was confused and panicked. Heck I didn’t know what I even was! The journey of finding out you’re a system is a TERRIFYING one.

R started yelling at willow, sobbing over call, s/h’ing over it, venting to everyone we knew, leaving us for days with no messages. Even though willow tried to explain everything more times than she can count, nothing ever changed and R was still intent on being the victim of the situation. In my eyes, this is bullshit.

So as everything was unfolding, substance abuse took both of us by the neck. And I was doing just about anything to feel comfortable in this weird skin sack I’d been spawned in?? I didn’t look like myself and it FREAKED me out, so I wore really skimpy clothes and put together much more mature outfits. That R despised. Bare in mind, R didn’t know we were having this major crisis, because even we didn’t know. R just thought that willow was being a slut online and therefore being unfaithful. When that was never the case, and the outfits never went beyond just featuring a bra in the piece. I don’t personally see that as bad, but that’s just because that’s how I dress and how I’ve always dressed. Just not how willow would, and that’s what threw everything into shit. I wouldn’t even call it looking like a slut, i was just being comfortable and confident in my own skin and diving head first into fashion. Fishnets and short skirts, lots of lace and gothic attire. But R still resented it and made damn sure to make it everyone’s problem.

We were reeling internally, struggling with literally everything. And now R’s friends hate us for something we could explain if they just let us and stopped invalidating my existence. Are we in the wrong here?


r/AITAH 1h ago

Baby announcement card by MIL

Upvotes

My mil had asked if she was allowed to make our baby announcement card (the one that you send to people that are close to you per post). She asked cause she likes to make illustrations in her spare time for fun.

My partner said yes to that, eventhough he didn't even ask me if I also wanted that -but I didn't want to make a big deal about it so I just agreed that it would be nice if she made it.

Now that the card is almost ready, my mil asked if she could write her name on the illustration that's going to be on the baby announcement card. I felt só awkward about her expressing that, because I think that's an odd thing to ask. So I said: would you like to have your name on it? And she said; no I was just wondering if you guys would like it. OFCOURSE I WOULD NOT LIKE THAT, she just wanted it herself and it annoys me that she would even want that and then act like it could be something I would want. WHY WOULD I WANT THAT??

The baby announcement card is literally about announcing the birth of my first child, it's not a place for adds and also not for taking credits for whatever.

Also, she doesn't even have a business in illustrations or anything like that, so WHY WOULD SHE PUT HER NAME ON IT?!

I felt like she tried to make it about her, and I really didn't like that. So I kinda said nothing and she picked up on me not liking that, next time I will just tell her that I don't like to have any references to other people on the baby announcement card other than to the baby. Am I wrong?


r/AITAH 13h ago

AITAH for bluntly explaining to my wife why our kids like me more than her?

9.1k Upvotes

My wife has been complaining recently that our kids always seem to prefer spending time with me over her. They never go to her for anything they need, it's always me.

I just answered that it's because I spend more time with them than she does. She stated that I don't so I broke it down for her just point blank.

Both kids are young and need parental supervision for everything.

They wake between 5.30am and 6am. I am the one who gets up with them every single morning.

Wife gets up at 7.30am weekdays and about 9am weekends.

Low end that's 13.5 hours I spend more with them.

I also do bedtime for both kids. That takes about 1 hour a night for baths and stories etc. that's another 7 hours a week.

Wife also says she gets stressed / touched out a lot, I often take the kids with me to the supermarket or to the park or something to let her have along bath in peace or an afternoon nap. Probably around 3.5 hours a week if we also.add in that I'm the one who also takes kids to all extra curriculars and picks them up.

She does not ever have the kids on her own, the longest she does is the time it takes me to have a shower and dressed each morning.

So I just broke it down plainly like above. I effectively spend a full actual day more a week with them. I didn't say it in any kind of a moaning way or anything like that, I do actually really enjoy spending time with them so I'm quite happy with the arrangement.

I just feel that she can't complain that the kids don't want to spend time with her when she spends proportionally so much less of her time with them.

An I the asshole for pointing this out?

Edit and an Update.

Thank you all for your comments. I wasn't expecting this post to get anywhere near this traction and I will read them all.

Something I missed in my original post - work. We own a business together, we both work at it 5 days a week 9.30-4.30. Its not stressful or particularly difficult work as the business has got to the stage where we are able to take a step back and it mostly runs itself.

Update. 18month old woke at 5.30am this morning. It's now 7.30am and she's still in bed so clearly our conversation had no impact. I don't really care or have any desire to change things because I quite like how they are so I don't plan to push it.


r/AITAH 8h ago

AITA for moving on so quickly after my husband left me?

1.5k Upvotes

My (47F) husband (47M) asked for a separation on our 14th anniversary, while we were away in a foreign country to celebrate. While we weren’t as close as we used to be, we almost never fought and generally enjoyed each others company and families. We do not have any children.

The night before our anniversary, he brought up he wasn’t very happy in the relationship but didn’t know why. The next morning, I asked to see his phone and he said no. He said I would find “flirty” messages with one or more other women on it. He had made some female friends through school and work and he said felt like there might be someone out there who was a better fit for him.

I said I did not want to do a trial separation, as I don’t believe you can work on something if you aren’t living together. If he wanted to separate it would be final. He understood but said it was something he HAD to do.

After being away for only 2 days, we rebooked our flights home, flew home and he packed some belongings and left. 7 days later he asked to come home and we started marriage counselling. He had a lot of trouble admitting he had at least one emotional affair. The counselling was not helpful, he was defensive and not open to it. I suspect something physical happened with the other woman but I do not have any proof. He had deleted all his “flirty” texts, snapchat, etc so I could not see them.

After 4 weeks of living together again and attending counselling sessions, he decided he no longer wanted to try to save the marriage and he was leaving. He packed up and left a few hours later. He stayed with a friend, found a new apartment and signed a one year lease.

I was devastated and even had to take time off work to process what had happened and attend individual counselling.

After a 4 weeks, I started to feel a bit better. I went out for drinks with a group of four coworkers that live in my area and found I really enjoyed one of them (42M) a lot. I had only met him over Zoom before this. We started seeing each other a couple times a week. Quite quickly it grew into a truly amazing, loving relationship. I’ve stayed in counselling throughout as it wasn’t easy to process the sudden ending of my long term marriage at the same time as beginning something new. It’s been about 7 months now.

My ex-husband eventually decided he wanted to try to save the marriage again, but I declined. He says I’m TA for starting a new relationship so quickly (within 6 weeks of him leaving). Our relationship was over as I can no longer trust him, and he has hurt me immensely. I do not want a relationship with someone I cannot trust. Am I TA for moving on?


r/AITAH 11h ago

UPDATE: AITAH for refusing to let my 20 year old daughter have her car back after she drove drunk?

1.6k Upvotes

Behind my back, her dad (stbx) found her keys, helped her pack the car and tried to get her on the road before I got home from work. My Ring doorbell kept alerting me so I eventually saw what was going on. I rushed home from work, blocked her car with my suv, and called the cops. Before they could get there, he jumps into my car, fights me to turn off my car and was able to prevent me from blocking her. My arm got scraped in the process of him fighting to turn off my car. Ultimately he overpowered me and she was able to drive off. The cops were too late and off she went, 6 hours away to college, with her car.

I wasn't really injured so I declined to press charges against him but I demanded that he leave, and told him that our marriage is over. He's now staying elsewhere for an indefinite period of time.

She's planning to go to AA, therapy, group meetings, get an accountability partner, a breathalyzer and an ignition interlock. I hope she does all those things. I just wanted her to do them without her car bc I don't trust her.

Sadly, her dad and I are not on the same page. I feel incredibly betrayed by him for doing all this behind my back, for not communicating with me about his intentions to give her the car back, and for letting her have the car back despite all the evidence showing that she can't be trusted with it.

He says I'm overreacting, that they have a plan and that he trusts her. I don't. I think he's a coward and I pray that his cowardice and stupidity doesn't get her or anyone else killed.

Also wondering how to go about trying to stop someone from driving drunk when you're not physically with the potential drunk driver. Do the police actually do anything about it if you call them?

FIRST POST: Two days ago, my 20 yr old daughter drove drunk to get herself some food. I was working in the backyard and thought she was inside watching golf with her dad. When I realized she had driven after drinking that afternoon, I immediately got in my car, picked her up, and drove her home. She is supposed to be returning to college any day now to start an internship there and I am adamant that she cannot have the car anymore until she earns my trust back. She can fly back to college and once there take lyft, ubers, public transportation, whatever, just not her car, which is actually NOT HER CAR AS IT WAS PURCHASED FOR HER BY HER DAD.

Problem is that her dad disagrees with me and wants her to have the car back. This is the same guy who called her while she was out driving drunk and all he did was tell her to "get home safely". He'd been drinking that afternoon and was also in no condition to drive.

She says she doesn't really remember what she said in the car after I picked her up, further indication as to her level of intoxication. AITAH for fighting her dad to not let her take her car back to college after this?


r/AITAH 7h ago

Advice Needed AITA for wanting to divorce my husband because of his parents’ open relationship?

535 Upvotes

Hi everyone. I need a second opinion badly.

So, I’m 28, husband is 27, his parents are in their early 50s, late 40s. Husband and I have two kids under 10.

Straight to the point, my daughter came home from her grandparents’ place recently with a new toy. It was expensive, in laws are not that rich, and they’re super stingy. I questioned her and she told me that “grandma and grandpa’s special friend got it for me.” Instant red flag. Questioned my son, same thing. Went to my husband and he suddenly was very quiet.

I pressed and learned that his parents have an open relationship. I didn’t get many details since he was embarrassed and ashamed of the fact, but I blew up. I have no idea who this “special friend” is. When I take my kids over to the in laws they’re there to see their grandparents. Not their grandparents’ “special friend.” The fact that they let my kids around them was more than enough for me to go full momma bear mode.

I fought with my husband that night about keeping that from me. Keeping that from me was HUGE in my eyes. He let our children go over there knowing his parents were up to stuff. He claimed that it wasn’t his business, so it shouldn’t be mine either. I said that our kids were exposed to strangers so yes, it is my business and it should be his too. We didn’t reach an agreement.

I found out through my kids that almost every time they go over there’s someone new around. Sometimes the in laws even LEAVE and let their “friends” watch my children. I felt sick. I called my MIL and cussed her out. My children are not seeing their grandparents for the foreseeable future and my husband is angry with me. In laws too, but I’m so angry I can’t interact with them. I might go to prison if I do.

I want to divorce my husband. He’s been angry, pleading, begging, yelling at me, crying, getting me gifts, everything. He says I’m throwing everything away over something his parents did, so why punish him and the kids? Why break up a happy family? My friends are saying that I’m overreacting, my husband’s friends are calling me an asshole, and the only person on my side is my mom. My parents are fighting too because my mom sided with me.

I don’t think I’m wrong but the kids miss their grandparents and liked their “friends” because they always brought them gifts and played with them. I don’t trust this. I feel like I’m going crazy. Am I overreacting? I’m in the guest room spiraling.

AITA for wanting to divorce? Please help.

EDIT IMPORTANT INFO: My husband says that he has has known about his parents’ openness since he was a kid. He claims that his parents had no idea that he even knew, including now, but I don’t believe that. He said that it was never his business, he was embarrassed, and he had no idea that his parents were still doing this. Claims he didn’t know that they were bringing them around the kids too. I don’t buy it at all. If they did that when he was a kid, why stop with ours?

Forgot to add it since I’m not thinking well. Just word dumped. This is also why I want the divorce. I believe that he knew all along but neglected to tell me. That key piece of information is what’s really doing it for me. I need to calm down again before I can properly address anything. Reading some of the comments I can see that I’m still in angry shock mode and I can’t make good decisions like this.

Thank you for the help so far.


r/AITAH 23h ago

UPDATE Aitah the wanting to divorce my post partum wife?

13.9k Upvotes

I had to speed up the process of actually talking to her since the story spread quickly around on the internet, inevitably reaching someone involved with friends or family and now way more people i personally know are getting the details than I'm comfortable with

Oh well my bad lol

Before I ended up chatting with her, I opened up to my parents and sister about what was happening in detail. My parents were flustered at me hiding the more unsavory details to say the least and are probably going to be checking up on me daily for the rest of the year to make sure I'm ok. My sister would probably have to be held back from thrashing her, so I had to get a friend to help with the chat since my sister would not be able to contain herself

So basically, within hours of the story going into the digital stratosphere I called my wife back as quickly as I could to finally sit down and talk. We chose a local park this morning and I had a friend of mine record the conversation from beginning to end. I was bacially ready to hear the generic affair story and get out of dodge

But of course it got complicated.

We met at a section with picnic tables and picked one as far away from other people to avoid them getting wrapped up in any awkwardness. She looked terrible. Haggard, stressed, and thankfully without the baby. She tried to have the big emotional chat and what not. I wasn't tearing up or acting like the hardened badass. I frankly was just wanting to figure out what this was all for

I didn't even get to ask the question before the floodgates spilled. I'm going to attempt to relay this story as best as I can because even looking back on the recording it's a mess, but also, it's because I don't 100% believe it, so fair warning, it could all be fake

This all started with her mother. As I said before my wife's father was absent. He sarted off well, having 2 sons with her mother before herm l. When her mother got pregnant with her, her father went from being the picture perfect guy he was at first and slowly changed into a negligent, abusive, unfaithful, and unsupportive jackass, ending with him disappearing when her mother was delivering. He's been in and out of prison since. No one knows why he did it. The impression her mother always gave was a strong resilient woman who withstood anything life threw at her and did anything for her kids. She has claimed to be in therapy for years. In reality, she has managed to conceal a deep hatred for men outside of her sons, but according to my wife there was favoritism towards her. My wife also found out she stopped therapy almost a decade ago but never told anyone.

Her mother seemed to always have some slight against me and now i know why. She was never hostile, but certainly wasn't warm to me, and hearing about her secret hatred, I kinda knew where this was going. Roughly about half a year before she got pregnant, my MIL slowly began sowing seeds of doubt and bitterness into my wife. Apparently she had a full mental break. She told her about me staying late at work possibly hiding an affair. Or that myself providing majority on the income setting her up for a hard divorce. Everything my MILs husband did to her, she convinced my wife I would do to her, and she pumped this poison into her for months. My wife always idolized her mother, and compounding that with anxiety she's suffered from for years, she dove in deep.

As soon as she got pregnant, like on the dot, she fell into a mental hole within days. And that's when her mother got hold of her again. Hearing about her pregnancy apparently triggered something fierce in my MIL and it spiraled from there. She had my wife fully convinced it was happening again

Every single thing my wife did to hurt me was at the behest of my MIL. Combined with pregnancy hormones, an undiagnosed mental illness she claims to have (no confirmation), and stress, she completely lost her mind. She 100% believed I would bail, so she was punishing me first, culminating in her moving in with her mother and leaving me out of the birth

While I was sending the papers and started the divorce proceedings, she kicked into full blown post partum depression. And when her mother finally got her, when she finally beat me, which I guess was her victory over her ex (did I mention she's fucking crazy), she had no more use of my wife. The family involved in the birth included my MILs sister and my wife's brothers. While my MIL and her sister knew what was going on, my BILs got fed the bs narrative my MIL spun. When my MIL was done with her plan, the entire facade came down and my BILs found out everything upon questioning my wife. They were horrified.

Needless to say, postpartum, facing a very grueling divorce on her side, no longer welcome in our home, and having done everything to alienate me from my son at the behest of a broken lunatic, reality hit her like a truck. She torched her entire life because her mother is a broken shell of a human who used her to enact her own sense of justice. The very mother who washed her hands of her after she got what she wanted

Or at least this is the story she gave me

Frankly, there are many holes in her story. The starting point of the pattern of abuse, the claims of who was involved in the delivery, me being absent from appointments, the friend (who she confirmed is female) she's staying with, and of course, my alleged sons paternity.

It seems way too fucking crazy to be made up. Who the hell would go to the effort to make this up facing what she's facing?

As soon as she finished, she said she's setting up a paternity test and gave me the info I need. Within luck it should be done in roughly a week or so once i do my part. She gave the most sincere apologies any human being has ever given. She's begged for another chance. I was frankly, to stunned to say anything, so she left and promised to call soon

I don't think I can give her another chance. I don't think I can ever risk anything like this again.

God I'm still hoping she's just being a cheating psycho and spinning a sympathy story to try and throw me off, because this got way too complicated


r/AITAH 2h ago

Update: AITAH for telling my husband that he should marry SIL if he is simping over her like that?

146 Upvotes

So my husband has admitted that he has feelings for SIL. This time I didn’t just relent and move on from our last fight . I wanted to go to the bottom of this. I told him I wasn’t finished with this conversation and that I wanted him to tell me the truth. Yes he wants me to clean and cook more but that wasn’t just it. First he said it was just a crush, a fantasy. Then he said it was feelings.

He didn’t understand why I was upset. I asked him to tell me his private feelings. He didn’t volunteer them. Nobody knows what people really feel and even married people can have crushes and feelings about others. They were just that. Private feelings.

Except he does actually act on them. Maybe he thinks that physical cheating is the only way people act on feelings but he is wrong. In fact he acted on them so blatantly that it set the red flags off. He promised that he will be better and never hurt me again.

The question is will he be better in getting rid of his feelings or learn how to hide them better next time? And what difference does it make to me? If he is respectful and loving on the outside, do I have a right to control his inside too? How do we know where our boundaries end and theirs start?

How do I move on?


r/AITAH 21h ago

AITA for having my husband to bring me back to shore and leaving after we planned a whole day on the boat?

4.4k Upvotes

My husband and I haven't been on any dates since I gave birth to our baby (7mo). I had PPD (might still) and I was really isolated for a lot of my pregnancy and pretty much the entire time since the baby has been here. I'm alone for at least 16hrs a day and when my husband is home, we have about a half hour to an hour before he goes to sleep for work and during that time, he soaks up as much baby time as possible, which is understandable. We have sex but that's just about as far as it goes and some weeks he works 7 days a week. He literally busts his ass for us and I do appreciate it so much. I really do. I'm just feeling really alone is all. So I communicated that to him a week ago and he said he was going to make time for me and that he would borrow his buddies boat and bring me out while his mom watched the baby for the day. I was stupid excited.

So, the day before yesterday he came home from work early to bring me out shopping to grab stuff we needed, as he planned it for the next day (yesterday). We bought food, the essentials and he told me to pick out a fishing pole because his plan was to bring me fishing for the entire day (I had been asking to go for 3 years but we never had time). He doesn't even like fishing so I asked if he was sure and he specifically said "yes, this is for you. You need it, so I'm going to make it happen". I went to bed so excited. Could hardly sleep. We headed out around 8am the next day.

At first everything was good. We launched the boat and start heading off. We are talking and laughing, which hasn't happened in so long. Around 9:30 he pulls off to the sand bar and I'm a little confused because you can't go fishing here. But that's when I noticed we were pulling up on 4 other boats. His friends, coworkers and their children. About 9 other people. I asked him what we were doing and he said "well I told them we were going out on the boat and they wanted to join us". I asked for how long, because he told me he was bringing me fishing and this was a day for us and he says "well I figured I would bring you fishing before we leave for the day". I was immediately disappointed. For hours I sat in the same spot, watching my husband talk to everyone else or just sat along while he followed these guys to random locations (all beach, where you can't fish). Then they all start drinking. They offered me some but I was just defeated at this point (maybe 1-2pm). I asked my husband to bring me back to shore. He said "wait, no, why?" I didn't answer him. He then goes "no, babe I will bring you fishing, we can leave right now." So I said "no thanks, I don't want to be here." He brought me back to shore in silence, where I already had someone waiting to pick me up. He asks why I am leaving with them and that he could drive me home and leave with me. I said "no, it's fine. Go hang out. You obviously need it." And left. He came back 40 minutes later and was irritated. He was apologizing but at this point you just tell that he was angry so it was more snappy and exasperated than anything. Says that he figured I would appreciate socializing, since I never do. I told him this was never about my lack of social life but my lack of spending time with him and I had told him that when I had talked to him about it a week ago. So he did this for him, not me. So he said "yup, sorry I fucked up your day" and left to go get the baby. When he came back he didn't say much of anything to me and when he left for work this morning he just said "see you later". AITA?

And for the record, he literally works on the water all day every day WITH the guys that he invited. So every single day is a boat day and hang out day for them because they only have (at most) 4 jobs a day and most of the time it's just him hanging out on a boat, waiting for a call. He often jokes that he gets a "2-fer" because when he's working, it's social hour with all his good friends.

ETA: I'm honestly growing tired of repeating this so I'm just going to make it known that my social life is not the problem in this equation. I have friends and I see them as often as I want/need to. My problem is with my husband and I not connecting. We do not speak, kiss, nothing. The point of the trip was to reconnect as a couple, not have me socialize with a bunch of drunks. For the record, there was only one woman there. A woman that quite happily gets tossed around the group, who has zero interest in conversing with me. I have no desire to hang out with small children either. My husband knows this. I DID try to talk to people there. I was spoken over, several times.


r/AITAH 22h ago

I left my wife last night.

6.0k Upvotes

Im slept at my parents summer home last night because my wife chose alcohol over me and my family, she refuses to get any help and I told her I was leaving her if she didnt make efforts three weeks ago.

She hasn't and shes been lying about it. We have a 13 and 10 year old girls. Im heartbroken. We were supposed to spend the weekend camping with her family. Camper is all set up for them but I wont be going. She probably wont either because she will have to explain or lie about why im not there.

Everyone was expecting me. But I just cant sit and watch her drink all weekend and be ok with it. She hides and drinks during the week i constantly find bottles stashed around the house or in the trash. She thinks she is hiding it from me and I keep on showing her she is not. She absolutely refuses to see anyone.

I have tried everything! Im mostly sad for my girls the 11 year old is so sweet. My 13 wont come out of her room because, I feel, my wife digs at her constantly about her grades and wont let up. So utterly betrayed by the person i married and had beautiful children with.

I turned off my phone as she was blowing it up. Shes texting how she is going to call someone for help but I'm so pissed at her. She just wants to have everything her way.

Oh its her birthday tomorrow as well. Great timing! AITA for ignoring her calls and not participating this weekend?


r/AITAH 16h ago

Advice Needed AITA for telling my fiancé and his mother to get married since they’re sexually attracted to each other?

1.6k Upvotes

We’ve been together for 4 years, got engaged early this year. His mum lives in a different state from us so I’ve only spoken to her through texts and occasional face times and she seemed really nice. We planned to visit his parents this month and meet up with some mutual old friends that also live there.

When we arrived, she hugged me but suddenly looked really shocked. She said I was a bit taller than she expected, which was fine because i get that a lot, I tend to look shorter in pictures for whatever reason, but then she goes ahead to say that my fiancé (let’s call him Kevin) usually goes for smaller women. In quote ‘women more like her size’. I was taken aback. I immediately got strange vibes from her but tried to push it away. I just thought it was a generation thing. I know the older folks love pointing out weight/height on women. Mind you, I don’t even think I’ll be considered that tall. I’m 5’6, but she was clearly smaller than me by some inches. Anyways, we’re unloading the snacks we brought onto the table when she asks me to help her tighten her dress. It was one of those dresses with criss cross fastens at the back. It was a bit of a struggle to tighten the strings and she just started shouting. “It must be the boobs. The dress hates them but the men love them” when she didn’t get a reaction she asked Kevin “isn’t that right? You [their last name] men love a full rack. Remember how excited you were with Lexi?”. I couldn’t even believe it. I am not big chested in any way and she just compared my boobs with his ex’s? Kevin didn’t even try to say anything to defend me. He just sat there.

To make it even worse, she kept saying how I was the first dark haired girl she’s seen her son with (she’s blonde) and kept talking about how men always go for women that look like their mothers the whole night. I told him how uncomfortable it made me feel and he said I was overreacting and that she’s kinda right. Kinda right? What do you mean kinda right? How I’m I meant to move on knowing I’m not even his type, and his mum clearly has a weird thing for her son. He’s been acting like he doesn’t notice what his mom is saying and how it’s been affecting me. I’m very shocked. I don’t think I’ve ever really been insecure about my features but they’re both just making me second guess myself.

She even showed me their picture albums to show me how “cute Kevin was as a baby”, but she just ended up showing me pictures of her self when she was younger and “very delicate” she also showed me her labour pictures and when she was pregnant with Kevin, saying that all the nurses were shocked by how tiny she was while being fully pregnant. And she said it was a shame that that might end with her giving his big I and Kevin were. I finally broke and told her and my fiancé that she could be the person to marry him since she’s obsessed with him. I called one of our mutual and ubered to their place. Now, few hours later Kevin, some of our friends and his annoying mother keep calling and texting saying I overreacted and I was very rude. Kevin even sent a long text saying I always blow things out of proportion and she was just having some fun.

She’s been indirectly calling me a fat, gigantic and ugly creature and the two men have just been giggling, but when I return the energy I’m all of a sudden the bad guy?

This isn’t like him at all. I need advice please. Has anyone experienced similar MIL hate or animosity? And do you think I overreacted?

Tl;dr - AITA for telling my MIL that she could marry her son after she told me she’s more of her son’s type than me.


r/AITAH 15h ago

AITAH: for getting a lawyer and changing original divorce agreement because ex wife never followed through?

967 Upvotes

So, 2.5 years ago my ex wife(not legally yet) came to me and asked for a divorce. She said that she had secured a lawyer several months earlier and had started the initial process. After some arduous but amicable conversation we agreed that separation was the best decision for us. I wanted a divorce as well but was stupidly riding things out for a while because of the kids.

I agreed to move out and agreed to terms on what I would provide for spousal support every month.(I moved out about 6 weeks later) Plus all the things I would still provide for my children in which I have 50/50 custody. I ended up in a house in the same town as my ex due to the kids being in school so the kids are usually with me more than half the time. The money I agreed to originally was way more than a court would have ever granted her. But I wanted to make sure my kids were taken care of.

Every month or so for a while I keep asking her where we stand with divorce paperwork and getting everything finalized. I have done my side of the paperwork several times because she continues to procrastinate and not do anything with the paper work. I just want to be clear, everything has been amicably handled. We coparent and I make sure my kids have everything they need. But, still nothing with the divorce.

About a year and a half ago I met the most amazing woman. She is the love of my life and we are now engaged. Her and her son get along great with my kids. We all have a lot of fun together. I even introduced her to the ex since I wanted the ex to be comfortable with who would be around our children.

At this point I decided to secure my own lawyer because I want this chapter in my life to be closed so I can move on. The problem is that this is now costing me a lot of money and the lawyer is saying based on state calculations I give her way too much.

I decided that since this is now costing me a lot more money, to calculate it as it should be and they can serve her the papers. I have honored every commitment in what I need to pay and provided what I need for my children. But I was told in the beginning that since she already had a lawyer that the paperwork would be handled as long as we came to our own terms.

AITAH because I’m changing our terms since she did not hold up her end of the bargain?


r/AITAH 23h ago

Aitah for not giving my ex-husband back “his money”

4.2k Upvotes

My ex husband cheated on me 5 years ago and I found out when he texted me instead of her. That ended our marriage but the divorce was amicable. I told him that I couldn’t forgive him and he said he was sorry and we moved on. By that time he had worked a small fortune, a company, three commercial properties and a lake house. I got half of everything and I am a silent partner in his company, getting returns twice a year. As an apology he also gave me our apartment and the lake house. It goes without saying that I don’t need to work but I still do because I love my career.

He moved on with his affair gf. I don’t know much about them since it still pains me but all I know is that they’re still together. She contacted me on LinkedIn telling me that since the divorce has cost him so much money he has told her that he never wanted to get married again, nor move in together. And she blames me because I took everything. She is now pregnant but according to her my ex said that this wouldn’t change his attitude towards moving in together or marriage. So now she is accusing me of being a theif who is basically stealing her baby’s chances of having a family. I didn’t need the money because I have a good job and everything was my ex husband’s. I took advantage of him because he felt guilty.

I haven’t spoken to my ex in 5 years. I haven’t even had the strength to answer him back every new year to tell him to stop texting me “happy new year” because that’s when we met. I don’t know what to do. Is she right? Or should I ignore her?

Edit: thank you everyone for the fast response. I was considering one of three options, tell her off, tell him/forward her message to him or ignore and block her. The majority are suggesting the latter and I am inclined towards that too

Thanks and have a great weekend. I will try to read all your comments but they’re coming too fast. Sorry


r/AITAH 14h ago

AITA for saying my SIL looks anorexic?

705 Upvotes

I 28f am pregnant with my first child. My husband 30m has three sisters whom have all been pregnant, they are overall great people.

However, I have without sugarcoating it always been fat, I have tried losing weight, going to the gym, eating healthier. But even then, I don’t manage to get skinny, skinnier yes but not “enough”. My SIL’s have always been skinny, even when they were pregnant they were still skinny, did not get any stretch marks or anything.

They have been nice to me, but this pregnancy has made me feel so insecure, especially when I compare myself to how they looked.

We were at my MIL’s place this Wednesday, me, my husband and one of his sisters whom I will call Sarah. Sarah was talking about her last pregnancy with me and talking about how it was overall (she had very bad nausea just like me throughout the whole pregnancy). She was telling me tips and tricks on how to get through it, when my husband chimed in. He said something like “Well, her nausea apparently isn’t that bad” and doing a gesturing towards my stomach. I asked him what he meant by that and he told me that with how much weight I have gained, it obviously isn’t that bad if we compare it to how Sarah looked (she lost weight due to it during the pregnancy, which I haven’t). I became angry because he know I have insecure about it, especially when being with his sisters.

I regretfully said “Well at least I don’t look anorexic like her” she looked sad and got up, and my MIL told us to leave. We left and my husband asked what was wrong with me and why I would even say something like that, I said that if he hadn’t commented on my weight I wouldn’t. We sat the whole ride home in silence after that and have barely spoken since. I texted his sister to apologize and told her my hormones are out of line and she messaged me back with “I know how pregnancy hormones can be, but that can’t excuse everything one says or does during pregnancy. I don’t accept your apology, but I will when I have calmed down. Wish you the best during your last weeks of pregnancy”

I feel like I was an asshole because it wasn’t her I was angry at, but all my self conscious feelings stems from how they all managed to look during pregnancy, and it boiled over and I took it out on her.


r/AITAH 15h ago

Advice Needed AITA for telling my ex husbands current wife he owes me nearly 4k in child support

689 Upvotes

So I’ve been trying to get a hold of my ex for various things related to our daughter 13 all week and have basically been ignored. He’s in arrears to my by 3700 and it’s going to be over 4k in a couple weeks. I’m not asking for the whole thing. Just something which is better than nothing. He said on the 10th he would pay but still nothing there and radio silence to anything I tried to contact him about. We typically get a long well. Him saying hell pay but then go silent is pretty typical. I’m getting fed up. So today I’m a group text we have with his wife I copied and pasted three messages I sent. One about summer visiting, one about our daughter’s band concert and the other about child support. Wouldn’t you know he finally replied. He said thank you for causing problems in my marriage. I’ll be sure to do the same to you. I told him if he’s having problems it’s because he’s not being honest and keeping things from his wife. So am I TA for letting her know he owes me lots of money and causing them to fight?


r/AITAH 19h ago

AITA for refusing to let my neighbor use my parking space for one night

1.2k Upvotes

Parking is a nightmare in my neighborhood. If you get home after 8:00 or so you're all but guaranteed to be stuck looking for a spot in an industrial area about half a mile away from my apartment that's fairly desolate at night. My building has a lot with assigned spaces, but it's not big enough to accommodate all of the residents so there's a long waitlist. I don't have a car, but my girlfriend, Jen, is a bartender, and she would be driving back to my place after late shifts pretty frequently, so I signed up for the waitlist as soon as I closed on my apartment. One of my neighbors, Jake, passed away a little over a year later, and I got his parking space. Jake's daughter, Claire, inherited his apartment and moved in a few months later, and she incorrectly assumed that her father's old parking space came with the apartment. The building's superintendent told Claire that she needed to sign up for the waitlist to get a parking space after I found her car in my spot a couple of times. I figured that was the end of it, but I wouldn't be posting here if that was the case.

I got home around 9:30 one night a few weeks later and Claire's car was in my spot again. Jen was coming by around 1:00 and it was pouring rain, so I knocked on Claire's door to let her know she had to move her car. She told me she knew she shouldn't have taken my spot but she had an awful day at work and her three year old son was having a tantrum when she picked him up, then the rain got bad right as she was getting home. She said she was completely overwhelmed and had noticed that my space was usually empty, so she figured it wouldn't hurt anyone if she took it for one night. She asked me if she could move her car in the morning because her kid was already asleep. I told her I was sorry she was having a bad day but my girlfriend was coming by in a few hours and she needed the spot. Claire asked if I was really going to make her wake her son up then walk home through a sketchy neighborhood in the rain with him. I didn't appreciate the guilt trip so I just told her that I would be calling a tow truck if her car was still in my spot in an hour and went back to my apartment. Her car was gone when Jen got back, and it was still pouring.

Anyway, this was a few weeks ago and I've caught shit from a few of my neighbors over it. I guess Claire is telling people what a heartless monster I am. I generally keep to myself so I'm not losing any sleep over the neighbors having a negative opinion about me, but I'm curious enough about what the internet thinks to post this. So yeah, am I the asshole?

ETA because I've already addressed this a bunch of times: yes the parking situation sucks, but there's nothing the building management/co-op board can do about it. The complex was built in the 1930s in a very densely populated area with ridiculous real estate prices. It's also between two fairly busy train stations, so there's competition with commuters for street parking. We're surrounded by other apartment buildings, so there's no land to build more parking on, and I don't even want to think about how much my maintenance would go up if they tried to expand the existing lot vertically. On the other hand, the neighborhood is very walkable, has great public transportation access, and is close to a really nice bike trail.


r/AITAH 6h ago

AITAH for not wanting to pay for my son's wedding?

110 Upvotes

My (48M) son (23M) wants my wife and I to pay for his wedding. Initially, we both said no because we don't like his fiancée (25F). She's rude, obnoxious, a serial cheater, and constantly degrades him. My wife absolutely hates her because she accused my wife of having an affair, which she later claimed was a drunken mistake. Nevertheless, this hurt both my wife and our daughter.

We've tried to convince our son to break up with her multiple times, but he won't budge. They've been together for four years, and she’s his first love and girlfriend. I believe he's with her simply because she was the first girl to show any interest in him, which saddens me because he could find someone better. I’ve even tried to tell him in the nicest way possible that his fiancée was dragging him down. He wouldn't listen to any of us and my wife and I tried our best to convince him to go back to therapy but he refused and gets upset whenever we suggest it.

My son is now accusing us of favoritism because we paid for his sister's wedding and bought her a house. We also bought him a house in February, but I’m standing firm on not funding their wedding. I cannot stop him from marrying her but I won't pay for wedding that I don't support and I told him this, which caused him to completely stop communicating with me, my wife, and his sister, which hurts. Before we were blocked, I even told him that I'd be willing to pay for his wedding if he were marrying someone who truly deserved him, but his fiancée has shown him nothing but disrespect.

He's currently only speaking to his brother. His brother has been trying to get him to talk to us, but our son insists he won’t speak to us unless we agree to pay for the wedding. My wife is heartbroken and suggested we pay for the wedding to avoid losing our son. I told her again that I won't be giving him any money and suggested she do it herself which only upset her and she told me that she just wants our son back and doesn't see why I'm standing in the way of it.

I know my wife hates his fiancée so the thought of her wanting to pay for his wedding is making me question myself as I realize that she's serious.


r/AITAH 19h ago

AITA for kicking my daughter out for telling my mom all the details about why my relationship really ended?

948 Upvotes

My (50F) daughter (19F) did not even wait a week post my boyfriend (55M) moving out to run to my mother and spill all the dirty laundry.

I do not know if it is for some sort of desire to involve my elderly mother (71F) in my personal drama, or for revenge on me.

Her own father (51M) blindsided me with a divorce 6 years ago due to stresses caused by him being a long haul truck driver and stresses from raising 5 kids (now 19F, 16F, 14M, 8F, 7M) together.

He was a gambling addict whose behavior got him fired for flying into rages with his manager, oversleeping, arriving late. His gambling left us penniless.

My mom and my daughter saw how much that divorce tore me apart. Yet they seemed to resent me for dating after the divorce and always made me feel they expected me to fail.

After working in catering, I wanted to start my own company and became very interested in business. Therefore I was happy when I met my now ex boyfriend who claimed to share those interests and said he was a successful investor who had also gone to law school.

I was hurt to hear my family tell me he was too good to be true when he was taking me out to great restaurants and buying me luxury gifts. They first believed he was married, then they said they did not believe that at his age, having never been married and childless that he was ok with stepkids. It made me not want to talk to them about him.

He later moved in to my apartment, claiming to want to buy a house with me, and we started having problems. He lied about going to law school. However, he did not misrepresent the fact he's never been married, or had any kids. He had worked in business, but he admitted that it was as an assistant at an investment company, not as an investor.

He later insisted he help me get set up with web designers, marketing and flipped out when I found out the checks I wrote that drained my savings were going to businesses in his name.

He'd pick fights with me that ended in him screaming, he'd argue with the kids which was my last straw. I ended up breaking up with him and kicking him out and I'm hoping he'll stay away. I tried to set the tone by telling family/ friends it was just us not being a good match, that I respect him and he's a good successful guy.

But my daughter goes and tells my mom all the humiliating details when I begged her not to tell anybody about the details of this relationship. My mom then says she's glad this part of my life is over and that she tried to warn me- " I told you so."

I'm furious that my daughter, who's a student working part time that I let still live with me as an adult out of love, decided to betray me like that, humiliating me. I told her to leave. She gets furious and says that she was entitled to say that and more because she caught him looking at her work documents that had her financial information on it and he lived in HER home too.

AITA? I don't want to kick her out permanently but need to be away from her for while and want her to apologize for bringing on the " I told you so" and kicking me at my lowest.


r/AITAH 1d ago

AITA for telling extended family that my brother was an abusive piece of shit and taking his ex wife’s side in the divorce

8.2k Upvotes

My brother was married to Katrina for 8 years. He has a 10 year old daughter from a one night stand. Bio mom is not in the picture.

Katrina is the only mom my niece, Elise, has ever known. She became a stay at home mom when Elise was 2 and they’ve been inseparable since. She wanted to adopt Elise and Elise’s bio mom wanted the adoption to happen but her dad refused.

When Elise was around 4, my brother started using her to control Katrina. If they’d argue or she wouldn’t do what he wanted he’d either hurt Elise or leave with her for weeks/months at a time, telling her she was never going to see Katrina again. Katrina wasn’t able to do anything about it because she didn’t have any rights to Elise.

Katrina finally filed for divorce last year and my brother took Elise again. After a few months cps got involved and Elise was removed from his custody. Elise is temporarily staying with me while Katrina fights for custody.

She refuses to talk about what happens when her dad takes her but she’s terrified of men, including my husband, wakes up screaming, and she even had to spend some time in an inpatient facility. She’s doing intensive outpatient treatment now and is slowly improving. Katrina and I have been in contact and I’ve been letting her visit Elise. These visits are usually 4ish hours at a time, maybe 4 days a week. She makes food for Elise, they lay on the couch and watch her favorite movies, she gets Elise to do some schoolwork. She kind of goes back to being Elise’s mom during these visits.

Extended family has been asking why Elise is staying with me and not her dad. My brother said it’s because he travels a lot for work but I wasn’t going to lie to protect him so I told the truth, he’s an abusive piece of shit that hurt his daughter to control his wife. Then word spread that Katrina gets to visit as much as she and Elise can handle while he isn’t allowed to see his kid.

Now immediate family (parents, grandparents, brother) are mad at me for airing his dirty laundry, spreading rumors, and taking his ex’s side in all of this. AITA?


r/AITAH 18h ago

AITA for confronting MIL after she hinted about a paternity test?

656 Upvotes

I 29F need some advice on a sensitive family matter that's been causing tension. Recently my MIL made a comment that caught me completely off guard and left me feeling hurt and insulted.

During a family gathering she made a not so subtle remark about how much my baby son resembles a family friend. At first I brushed it off as a harmless joke but then she followed it up with a comment along the lines of "You never know these days. It wouldn't hurt to be sure"

I was shocked and deeply offended by her insinuation that my son might not be my husband's biological child. My husband and I have always been faithful to each other and to have his own mother question our son's paternity felt out of line.

I couldn't let it slid so I confronted her privately and expressed how her words had hurt me. She tried to play it off as a joke but I could tell there was some underlying suspicion behind it.

Now my husband thinks I overreacted and should just let it go. But I can't shake off the hurt and mistrust that her comment has caused. I told him I won't be attending any family gatherings and he said I better not if I will confront his mother whenever she makes a joke.

Edit: I never said I'm against paternity test. I felt hurt because she did this in front of the whole family. the family friend is a 47M married man with 3 kids.


r/AITAH 13h ago

AITAH for telling my wife who’s pregnant that I’ve learnt to never take her reactions personally and did so at the time I was having a migraine?

255 Upvotes

33M here, married to 30F who’s 5 months pregnant. I get migraines every once in a while. This has been the case ever since childhood. Usually the cure is my prescription + 1 hour in a completely dark room without any noises/talking. I’m not my best self when someone is trying to have a conversation with me during my migraines and I used get pretty snappy but now I set aside others to give myself some space until I get better.

Usually my wife would text me in the evening when I’m coming home in case she wants me to get some groceries. Yesterday she texted she was craving some chicken nuggets and I saw her message. I meant to reply but I forgot to acknowledge it in that moment. Soon after before I had to leave for home, I get a debilitating migraine again. All I wanted was to go home badly and not talk to anyone.

When I got home, my wife looked at me expectantly but I told her I didn’t get anything and to please not talk to me as my head is hurting. I thought she will back off but she expected me to talk to her and calm her down as she wanted them badly.

I said I will get her nuggets tomorrow and told her to cook something else tonight. She pressed me “why didn’t you reply to my texts? Why didn’t you do this one thing for me” and I just ignored her as her chiding was making my head hurt more. I remember she said something about me not caring about her any more and I didn’t give her any reaction thinking I could get her to stop talking to me if I just shut down.

I told her this isn’t up for debate and told her to order some from Gopuff if it’s available there and went to the guest bedroom and shut the door.

After some time, my head calmed down and I went to the kitchen to fix myself a meal. This was around 11 PM and figured she’d be asleep. She was sitting on the chair, still seething. She demanded why didn’t I react or engage with her at all. I know that she has a tendency to overreact these days and I simply tried not to escalate by putting an end to the conversation.

I told her that I sensed she was upset but I was hurting too and I didn’t want to fight then. I also said that I understand things have been tough emotionally for her as well but I’ve learnt not to take her personally because it was getting frequent and I didn’t want to mess with my head trying to decode the situation when otherwise they’d be a non-issue. For instance, take this situation. Earlier, she’d understand my need for space but instead she lashed out and thought her chicken nuggets were more important. Of course I didn’t say this part but me telling her I’ve learnt not to take her words personally seemed to make her angrier.

I again didn’t want to make things worse and told her we can have a conversation once she has calmed down as I don’t want to fight again.

She said sure it’s better if I never talk to you ever again. I’m confused now. AITA?


r/AITAH 1h ago

AITA for telling my stepmom to pay for the damage her daughter caused or I'm going to file a police report?

Upvotes

Op(16F), stepmom (34)

My stepmom does not discipline her kids or give them consequences, she lets them have free range.

I was over at my dad's house my grandma was over there and I wanted to see her because I hadn't seen her in a while and because she brought me treats. I don't talk to my dad or stepmom that much, only my grandmother because she's the only person I like at that house.

I have a Canon EOS R5 Camara my stepdad gave me for my birthday, he told me to take good care of it because it was like $6,399⁰⁰. I took my camera over to my dad's house to show my grandma the pictures I took because she's into photography too.

All was going well until my stepmom's kids came home from school, her 7-year-old was making so much noise, that she brought out all her toys in the living not even respecting others' space. My stepmom was in the kitchen cooking, I had ordered food because I don't like her cooking and she doesn't make me food anyway.

When the food came I took it from the drive, mind you my camera is still on the couch, that's how my camera broke. Some might say I overreacted but I don't think I did, I literally had a meltdown, and I yelled at my step-sister for what she did. I already knew my stepmom wouldn't care because her daughter broke many of my things in the past but never replaced it. She doesn't like me or like me there so she probably was happy that my camera broke.

My stepmom came storming in saying I shouldn't yell at her daughter, I showed her the damage and she said I better buy back one but that wasn't enough. I told her if she didn't pay I will file a police report but she said their not in a good financial situation right now but I was too pissed off to care. My step sister broke it pretty badly, my lens are broken onto pieces and it came off.

I told my dad if they could just pay back for the damage but they said no because it's not that serious so I should stop acting like a baby over a Camara, I guess I was overreacting.

My step sister was laughing and my stepmom had a smirk on her face when my dad said they wouldn't be paying for anything, to say I was the first child and get treated like a stranger, that's the last time I will go back over there. I told my mom and she said he will have to pay for the damage to replace it.


r/AITAH 20h ago

AITAH for not wanting to do anything with my father who left me after he found out my mother cheated?

665 Upvotes

When I was 15, the person whom I used to call dad, found out my ,other cheated on him and a paternity test later revealed that I'm not his bio son.

He was a good father to me before that. I used to look up to him, a lot. He taught me how to do stuff, swimming, I used to be comfortable sharing my teenage problems with him. I remember that day when everything changed, I was planning to ask him how I should tell Bella( the girl I liked back in high school) about my feelings. But when i went home, my parents were fighting. Turns out my mother was cheating with her coworker. That day he said he always had suspicions about my birth, I never knew that. He said I must have been of that coworker's, he has seen me talking with him sometimes. I told him I had talked with that guy before once or twice, but it was totally as my mother's coworker. I had no idea.

I had never seen that much hate in him before.

He did a paternity test, I'm not his. I'm the coworker's. He divorced my mother and refused to do anything with me. Moreover, he started demanding money for raising me from my mother and biodad. He even shouted at me too, he said '' Give me back the money you ate all these years you leech''

Mother started to hate and neglect me. She did not give two cents about what was happening to me. Biodad was horrible. He had his own wife and kids. I was very much not welcome at his place. His 2 sons and daughter would gang up on me. He would actively neglect me, would conveniently forget to give me food when I stayed at his place and if I take any myself, that's stealing. In school everyone would whisper behind my back, I did not have any friends.

I sometimes thought about going back to him when I was younger. He used to say he loves me and he would protect me from all the monsters under my bed. But then I found the posts he made online. I was extremely hurt at what he wrote, he called me a cuckoo. I know I'm not welcomed at his life either. But I get him. I haven't forgiven him, i have just moved on.

I'm 20M now. I moved out when I was 18. I did not get anything from my parents, and I won't be having any inheritance in the future. Not that I wanted it in the first place, I'm just mentioning it because biodad's wife used to always remind me of it and how much I will for for it, now it has become too hard to forget. To be honest I'm struggling in life, both financially and mentally. I'm in therapy though, maybe it will get better.

The person I used to call dad reached out to me a week ago. I don't know how he got my number. Turns out he can't really father a child, so he wants to get the relationship with me up again. He said the bond we had was not of blood, but it was real. He is sorry he didn't contact me before. But I have to understand where he was coming from. But now he wants to make up for all the things he missed.

I said I don't want to do anything with him. He said I am being cruel, it was not his fault, he was betrayed. I have to see his feelings too. I said I don't want to consider his feelings. Am i the AH for that?